


it wasnt planned this way

by rb101



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Endgame, F/F, F/M, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Multi, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, Useless Lesbians, clexa au, lexa pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:07:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 44,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26374714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rb101/pseuds/rb101
Summary: Lexa gets pregnant after experimenting with a guy at a party. not expected at all she begins to spiral and with the help of her friends comes to terms with that's happening to her
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Comments: 228
Kudos: 544





	1. one

“No, no, no, no.” She could have sworn she repeated the single word at least fifty times as she looked down into her lap and saw the positive pregnancy test on display. How had this happened, well she knew what happened, but they were safe. She could have sworn they were safe.

 _‘Twenty-one and pregnant, at least you’re not going to be a teen mom.’_ She tried to make light of the situation, but it only made it worse.

‘ _Maybe the test was a false positive._ ’ She almost posed as a question in her mind, but she knew that that probably wasn’t the case. She hadn’t had her period in a few months now and she had put it down to the stress of collage, but then she did the math of when she got beyond drunk at a party and slept with the random frat guy who was putting himself on display.

‘ _The one time I sleep with a guy and I end up with a kid.’_ She almost laughed at the irony. Sure, she was gay but never had trouble appreciating a nice-looking guy. She had been curious about sleeping with a guy and when the opportunity presented itself, she took it. Now it wasn’t only the bad sex she was regretting, but she potentially had a human life growing inside her.

“Fuck me.” She groaned out as she picked herself off the bathroom floor and turned on the tap to wash her face with cold water, hoping it would wash off the shock.

“Don’t have to ask me twice.” Her roommate Raven Reyes said through the thin walls. Lexa rolled her eyes, of course she was standing right there. “But seriously, what is taking so long I have to shower dude.” Lexa opened the door not bothering to comment on either thing raven had said. “Hey what’s wrong?” She stopped the taller girl by placing a hand in her shoulder and meet her eyes, which were dark and looked sad.

“Nothing.” Lexa huffed trying to get out of the room, she was not in the mood to deal with her overbearing friend.

“Lex, I have known you since we were kids. I know when somethings up.” Her demeanour had changed from the flirty tone she was playing with a few seconds ago, and now she looked worried.

“I’m fine, I just don’t feel well.” She wasn’t completely lying, she needed to lie down before her head exploded. Raven let her go, knowing Lexa so long she knew that the girl would speak when she was ready and if she wasn’t no one would get anything out of her. Lexa made her way to her room after Raven offered her help if needed.

She was supposed to have class in an hour but the brunette was hit with a ton of emotions and problems, the last thing on her mind was school, so she curled back up into bed and turned out the lights planning to ignore everything for a few more hours.

But as much as she thought she wanted to, her mind wouldn’t let her sleep. It was unsettled and thoughts flew around faster than what she knew how to deal with. She had never been late, it was always on time and if she had ever skipped one it would happen the next month at the exact time it was meant to, but today marked the end of the second period she missed and she couldn’t help the feeling in the pit of her stomach telling her that something didn’t add up. What did add up though, the party where she hooked up with some senior guy, she didn’t even know the last name of, all she could remember was Adam, or Atom, something like that.

…

‘ _Just don’t throw up on her when she confirms the inevitable.’_ Lexa told herself a week later as she sat in the waiting room of her doctor. She had tried to put this off and ignore the test she saw, but as the week grew on, she couldn’t ignore the growing symptoms which were affecting her more and more. She knew she was going to be hit hard by morning sickness, she had felt queasy for days and even though she hadn’t thrown up, yet she knew it was inevitable. With her luck it would happen while she’s with her doctor.

“Lexa Woods.” The nurse called and she was pulled from her thoughts, she got off her chair and collected her things before finding her way down the corridor to the office.

“Good morning.” Doctor Franko smiled at her as she came into the white room and sat down by the desk. “What can I do for you today?” She asked cheerfully.

“I think I’m pregnant.” Lexa said without missing a beat, there was no point holding it back. Becca and Lexa were friends from a while back so she wasn’t offended when she saw the doctors jaw slightly dropped before she fixed it and sat up straighter. “I know crazy right, but I took a at home test and it came back positive." Becca nodded and tried to push the questions out of her mind, she knew that Lexa was a proud gay woman, so this news came as a bit of a shock to her.

“I can do a blood test to confirm and see how far along.” Becca suggested as Lexa let out a breath of relief at her not pressing for answers to the question’s she knew she was thinking. “Just sit here and I’ll get it sorted.” Lexa nodded and let her guide her to the other side of the room where a chair sat next to a sink. Becca silently got the test done and left Lexa alone in the room while she went to run the vial of blood.

“Now, that’ll be done in around ten minutes, you can either wait in here or the waiting room.” She offered hoping that Lexa would sit in the room with her but wanted to give her the chance to sit alone.

“I’ll wait in here.” Lexa said and Becca nodded as she looked at the computer screen filling in Lexa’s file. “You probably have a lot of questions?” Lexa asked with a small chuckle as even more nervous energy filled the air.

“Only if you want to answer them.” The doctor said respectfully not wanting to impose on their friendship. Lexa gave her a small nod before she started talking.

“So as you know I identify as gay, and I had never slept with a guy. But I still found some attractive, but one night maybe two months ago I was at a party and I was super drunk, and I ended up sleeping with a guy. I thought we used protection, I asked him to but here we are.” Becca heard her out and placed a hand on hers as she saw the panic in the green eyes.

“Lex, it’s okay. Breathe.” The doctor reminded her, she smiled at the younger girl and took the moment to breathe with her before continuing. “Are you okay about all this? How are you feeling?” Becca asked and instantly the tear works started, Lexa broke down in the first time in weeks. She would have blamed the hormones if anyone asked, but no one had really asked her that in a while and she was so overwhelmed. But she was glad her breakdown happened here, and not at home where Raven would have seen, and she would have to explain herself.

“Um, yeah I’m going fantastic.” Lexa joked sarcastically as she wiped her eyes with the tissue the doctor offered her. “No, I’m not okay, this is not what I expected to be happening to me at all. Not so soon.” Lexa said composing herself and becoming serious, Becca nodded knowing the struggles that she had been through.

Before the conversation could continue there was a knock on the door. A nurse walked in and handed the doctor a folder which Becca thanked her for and opened. As she read it Lexa couldn’t read her face and the anxiety pit in her stomach only increases. Again, Lexa chanted to herself to not throw up. But when she got the news, she couldn’t help it.

“Oh, Lexa I’m sorry.” Becca said rubbing a hand on her back as she hunched over the trash can in the corner of the room.

“How far along?” Lexa asked already knowing but wanted it to be confirmed, she sat back down in the seat after washing up.

“Seven weeks.” Becca said and as much as Lexa wished she could get rid of it the pit in her stomach only increased and she could feel her brain collapse in on itself, what the hell was she going to do. They had also tried to do an ultrasound but because of how early she was there wasn’t much to see and they couldn’t hear a heartbeat, both being completely normal but left Lexa feeling a little deflated that she had to wait until twelve weeks to see the baby.


	2. two

Lexa sat in her car for much longer than she usually did. She sat with her head in her hands, not really knowing what else to do. She wasn’t ready to go inside, it was Friday afternoon which meant all her friends were upstairs and they would want to include her or drag her out to whatever they were doing. She felt bad not having told anyone anything that was going on, they didn’t even know about the hook up. But she couldn’t, she didn’t know how they would react or what they would think. The baby was all Lexa could think about and because of that she had seemed to exclude herself from the group even from Raven, who she had stopped eating breakfast with because she couldn’t stand the smell of her coffee.

 _‘It’s time to be brave, they don’t have to know yet.’_ She took in one more deep breath and left her car.

As soon as she got on the level of her apartment, she heard the laughs and voices of her friends. She opened the unlocked door and rolled her eyes at how many times she had reminded Raven to lock the door. She tried to sneak right into her room but failed as soon as she opened her door.

“Woods, get your butt out here, I haven’t seen you all week.” She heard Lincoln call to her, she knew that he was about to expose her for not going to class for the week, which would only prompt further questions.

“Don’t you two have classes together?” She asked Octavia asked and she couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

“Yes, and someone hasn’t been. Woods.” He yelled at her again when her door shut behind her. She needed a minute before she went out and dealt with everything. But she couldn’t escape as she heard footsteps and a soft knock on her door, she knew it was one of the girls she just didn’t know which one.

“I’ll be out soon, just getting changed.” She yelled out and collapsed onto her bed with her head spinning about the appointment she had today and all the information she was given about possible symptoms to look out for. A lot of which Lexa was already experiencing cramping, fatigue, nausea, bloating, aching boobs. She wasn’t ready for them to get worse and for the onset of more, that’s when things would get hard to hide. She was seven weeks along and her scan was at twelve weeks, she had told herself and Becca that she wasn’t going to tell everyone unless she had to until then, which would be the same time she would start to show. She had five weeks until she would force herself to tell everyone, until then she would try to survive the onslaught of pregnancy symptoms.

…

Lexa sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, she hadn’t even remembered falling asleep, but as it was dark out, she suspected she’d been out for a while. That was one thing Becca recommended the most, sleep and Lexa couldn’t help but admit that she felt better than she did a few hours ago after a good sleep. She picked up her phone and saw that she had a few missed texts, which she replied to not wanting to worry anyone. 

**Rae:** hey i was going to wake you but princess said let you sleep. so were at the bar if you ever wake up

 **Lexa:** sorry didn’t mean to fall asleep

 **Clarkey:** We haven’t talked in while, are you okay? Are we okay?

 **Lexa:** of course were okay you goose

 **Becca:** Today was a lot to go through, please take care of yourself and bub. Also lean on others, I know you said you wanted to keep quiet but this is a lot to do on your own and no one is asking you to. I know you and I know your friends trust them

 **Lexa:** thank becs i just need to process first and then i’ll tell them all

Lexa turned off her phone and went out to the living area which showed evidence of her friends being over, she felt bad being at home but a bar was not the place she wanted to be. Not only for the headache she had but the fact she knew she couldn’t explain why she wasn’t drinking with them. Any other night she would have met up with them but tonight she decided to stay home and research everything she should be aware of while carrying a child. 

…

“So we leave you asleep in your room and when we get back you’re asleep on the couch.” One of the girls giggled as they push Lexa’s legs off the couch so they could sleep. Lexa jumped awake and sat up to see her friends again in her apartment. She saw raven sitting next to her, she should have known that she would be the one behind waking her up. “Here you missed out, so we brought it home.” Raven laughed and pushed a bottle of vodka over to her and the scent hit Lexa’s nose no quicker than she saw standing with her stomach churning. She jumped Octavia’s leg as she sat on the floor and made a bee line for the bathroom. She heard Raven yell out to her, but she ignored it and opened the door to the bathroom.

She paused once she did and the sight only made the bile rise to the top of her throat quicker. Ignoring Clarke who was sat on the bathroom counter with her legs around Finn as they made out, Lexa ran right past them to the toilet where she proceeded to throw up the contents of her stomach. After the shock wore off for her Clarke was on the floor by her best friend pulling back her lose hair and rubbing her back trying to help her through it. Clarke looked to the door where she saw Raven with a shocked and confused look on her face, neither girl had seen Lexa hunched over a toilet like this. Not even when drunk. But the small crying and whining sounds she would make before she threw up broke Clakre’s heart.

“Can you get water and aspirin for her please?” Clarke asked raven as she continued to rub circles on her back.

“No, get me Tylenol.” Lexa said looking into Clarkes eyes, Becca had told her to stay away from that as it can thin blood which wasn’t a great thing to do while pregnant. The only thing, Tylenol didn’t work great for Lexa, and the girls knew that, so Clarke looked at her even more confused.

“Babe, you always take aspirin that works better for you.” Clarke said thinking Lexa was confused or delusional or something.

“Rae, Tylenol please.” Lexa said rubbing her head. Raven agreed and she came back a few minutes later with a glass of water and two pills with Lexa took instantly.

“Come, lets get you out of here.” Clarke helped the weak girl stand and led her back out to the lounge where Finn was giving Lexa the side eye and the others watched on concerned. Once Clarke helped her sit down Finn pulled her down onto his lap and kissed the back of her neck. She quickly pushed him away and sat by Lexa rubbing her hand as they were slightly shaking.

“Good thing you’re gay as fuck, or I’d be worried you were pregnant with that reaction.” Raven laughed causing the others too as well. Lexa physically felt her heart drop and the tears prick in her eyes. She tried to laugh it off and averted her eyes from everyone.

“Babe this blows, want to come back to mine?” Finn asked standing up and fixing his pants, trying not to make it obvious of his arousal, but failing.

“No, I think I’ll stay with Lex, make sure she’s okay.” Clarke said with a smile.

“I’m fine, I just have the stomach flu.” Lexa said trying to get all the attention off her.

“See Clarke she’ll be fine, come with me.” He said pulling her into a hug which she again pulled away from it and again said no, when he went back to her and tried to persuade her Lincoln stood up and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Come on man I think we should leave you can crash at mine.” Lincoln said and Finn agreed knowing he was not able to fight with him. With that Lincoln, Octavia and Finn left without many words shared. Lexa was thankful when they were gone. It was finally quiet as Clarke and Raven had no idea what just happened or what to do.

“I think I’m going to head to bed.” Lexa tried to stand up confidently but failed when her legs gave out and she fell right back down onto the couch.

“Woods, what is up with you. You’ve spent every day in your room, and now you’re throwing up.” Raven asked and as much as she wanted to be sincere Lexa found her to be pushing and her comment still stung from before. She knew that she was going to get that reaction about her being gay, and she hadn’t even broke the news to them.

“I said I had the flu, or do you want to see my doctors’ certificate too.” Lexa snapped and pushed past the shaky legs and made it to her room where she collapsed on her bed again for the second time that night.


	3. three

Lexa woke up the next morning with a light knock on the door, she tried to ignore it, but the door slowly opened. She sat up in bed and looked over to the doorway and saw Clarke holding a cup of coffee and had a smile on her face. It was like she had become hyper aware of the hot drink and the smell filled her nose. Just as she had with the vodka last night Lexa was up and towards the toilet before she could stop herself.

“Again?” She heard Ravens voice call from the hallway. If she wasn’t so preoccupied with her head in the toilet, she would have rolled her eyes, but the feeling hit her again. Clarke was by her side rubbing her back trying to calm her down.

“You okay?” Clarke asked with genuine concern on her face as she helped Lexa wipe her face.

“Just the bug.” Lexa said weakly trying to force a smile but failing.

“Hopefully it’ll pass quickly.” Clarke spoke as she wiped a strand of hair out of her face.

 _‘Yeah just give me seven more months’_ Lexa said to herself, she nodded to Clarke who helped her stand up and led her out to the couch. She left the girl there alone as she ran to her room and grabbed her blanket and phone from the room.

“I think we do what we did in middle school when one of us were sick and have a Disney day.” Clarke smiled her dopey smile as she sat next to Lexa and pulled to covers over them.

“You’re going to catch what she has.” Raven said which almost caused Lexa to laugh at the statement. She chose to sit on the other couch and take it up herself as they scrolled through the app on the tv.

Lexa felt good cuddled up to Clarke, she was suddenly feeling cold despite the sweatpants and the blanket, but Clarke was like her personal heater. So she forced Clarke to lay down on her back and Lexa splayed on top of her, taking advantage that she could do this now, knowing she wouldn’t be able to in a few months.

It felt like old times, the three girls spending the day together watching movies, all they needed was Octavia and they would be set. They spent most of the morning on the couch making no effort to move. Lexa spent most of it in and out of consciousness, waking up and falling back asleep not knowing what was going on in the movie. Lexa jumped awake for the second time that day by a knock at the door. Clarke jumped too not which made Raven laugh.

“It’s O, she bought food.” Raven said as she got the door. Lexa suddenly felt nervous at the thought of having to eat with the other around, especially not knowing what they were having with her senses out of whack.

“What you get?” Lexa asked making her way into the kitchen where they sat at the table and looked over the mass of food Octavia had brought over. As she sat down Octavia kissed the top of her head and made sure she was okay.

“I got Italian and I know you haven’t been feeling well so I got you some minestrone soup and some bread. Only eat if you feel up for it.” Lexa breathed in relief smiling at the younger girl who was defiantly the mom friend of the group. Which seemed ironic now.

“You’re the best.” Lexa thanked her as she poured a little of the soup into a separate bowl and a bread roll not wanting to overload her stomach. They talked for the most of lunch which was nice as it had been a while since the four girls caught up.

“So back to movies?” Octavia asked as they finished packing up lunch. “I don’t mind going out either, it’s a pretty nice day.” Their attention was turned to the blue sky outside and how nice the weather did look, but Lexa knew that she wouldn’t be able to handle a day out, not with these three altogether.

“I’d rather stay in, my stomach is still not great.” Lexa offered and they all agreed going back to the lounge. Octavia and Raven shared a couch and again Clarke and Lexa shared one. But this time Lexa sat on her side when Clarke laid down. She turned her attention to the blond when she started tapping her with her foot.

“I want cuddles.” She pouted and opened her arms, Lexa couldn’t help but roll her eyes and laugh at the request. She also couldn’t deny her, so she laid down as they had before with her head on Clarke's chest. 

… _just a warning the d slur is thrown at Lexa in this next part skip to next dot to skip_

Their front door opened, and they heard the voices of Lincoln and Finn walk into the house. Lexa instantly rolled her eyes at Raven who gave her a confused look.

“What have I told you about leaving our door unlocked.” All she got in return was a shoulder shrug from Raven.

“Really Clarke, I’ve been texting you all day, and you’re curled up with her.” Finn spat at her, tension immediately filled the house. Lexa sat up and moved away from the blond who looked hurt and confused at the same time. “What have I told you about this.” He said crossing her arms. Lexa didn’t miss the fear that flashed through Clarkes eyes.

“What’s your deal Finn?” Raven asked pausing the movie and sitting up, still sitting side by side with Octavia.

“My girlfriend is here cuddled up with someone else and hasn’t answered her phone all day.” He looked even more mad, but he didn’t take his eyes off Lexa, all his anger directed at her.

“Dude chill, they’ve been friends since they were kids.” Lincoln defended them pointing to his girlfriend, knowing that it was nothing more than innocent affection.

“At least your girl isn’t cuddled up to a dyke.” Finn spat at Lexa, and she swore everything stopped. She felt frozen in place, but her mind was racing. She didn’t know if she could move or speak, but she wanted to get up, scream at him and kick him out.

…

“Finn, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Clarke asked him the same anger directed back at him. Lincoln instantly stood up ready to disable this entire thing. Lexa finally found her strength and stood up.

“I don’t know what is going through your head to think you can say that word, but I will give you the chance right now to leave my house.” Finn interrupted her.

“Or what?” He challenged her with a coy smile that Lexa hated.

“Is your masculinity so weak that me cuddling my best friend makes you insecure? For the record Clarke in bi which you should know because she is proud of it, but since dating you, that’s been taken out of her social media and she hasn’t said a word about it. So if you think you have the right to use that slur on me with everyone here I don’t want to imagine what you are saying behind closed doors. I know you don’t like me, and guess what Finn, I don’t care. I don’t like you either. Clarke is my best friend, has been since third grade we grew up together and I’m sorry that you think two months of dating erases our history but it doesn’t. Even if I did have feelings for her she’s with you, now I don’t know why she is, but I respect he choices, so cuddling up watching a movie is just that. Got it?” Lexa spoke to him as everyone watched on shocked that she was finally taking him on. They had all wanted to since he came into the picture, but they all trusted Clarke and who she wanted to be with.

“I know you like her, but she’s mine.” Finn said trying to grab a hold of Clarke's hand to take her away with him. But Lexa took a step to the side to block Clarke from him.

“Back off Finn.” Lexa warned. It happened so quickly that Lexa didn’t realise what was happening until his hand was at her face level and Lincoln had caught the opened palmed fist before it made contact with her cheek. She took a step back in shock. Normally her reflexes were amazing and now she hadn’t even seen the signs he was about to hit her. Nothing was said as Lincoln dragged him out of the apartment. The tension was still thick in the air as they heard his deep voice scolding Finn but none of them could understand what was being said.

“Wow I think that’s most you’ve said all week.” Raven teased her, she didn’t know why but she snapped and told Raven to shut up before she sulked away to her room and slammed the door behind her. She knew it was the hormones and the fight with Finn but she couldn’t get rid of the anger filling her body.

She never meant to argue with Finn and she knew that Clarke would have a problem with it. She never liked when Lexa interfered with her relationships. But she couldn’t keep quiet, and after watching how scared the blond was she knew she had to say something.


	4. four

Lexa woods was officially two months pregnant and she was hating life. When her doctor said that the first trimester was the hardest, she didn’t expect it to be so bad. She had been to two days of class in the past two weeks and she felt so bad over it and yet still couldn’t pull herself out of bed. The mood swings had been so intense that the only thing Lexa could do was exclude herself from everyone so she wouldn’t snap like she had at Raven over the past two weeks. She felt sick over it but she lived with Raven who was getting the force of all bad moods and when they past a few minutes later she would try to apologise Raven would give her the cold shoulder and ignore her attempts to make up.

They had fought because Lexa found Raven in her room, she was only picking up clothes to do the laundry but Lexa immediately thought of all the pregnancy information she had in there and thought she was snooping and would find out. Things that would have never been anything now turned into arguments and Lexa couldn’t stop her reaction. Raven was barely coping and didn’t know what to do.

Clarke and Lexa hadn’t spoken since the day she yelled at Finn which was almost a week ago, and they never went so long without speaking. But it was radio silence between them. For the first time since she could remember her group of friends were at Octavia and Clarkes apartment to steer clear of Lexa. Which only made her mood even worse. She wanted to change and control them but she didn’t know how.

“Get up.” She jumped at the sudden noise, she turned around in bed to see Clarke standing in her doorway. “I am not fighting you on this, get dressed. Now.” Clarke ordered and Lexa knew that she couldn’t fight this, they all knew that Clarke didn’t take no for an answer and she was scary when she was mad. So, Lexa got up and threw on a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt. She felt queasy this morning, and she hated to say she was getting used to the sick feeling in her stomach.

“You have ignored everyone of mine, Rae’s and O’s texts for the past week. Raven can’t even get close to you without the pair of you getting in a fight. So, we are going to fix this.” Clarke said offering no further explanation, she got her purse and keys and left the apartment. Lexa was confused but followed the blond down to the parking lot and got in the passenger side of the car. Clarke started the car and handed Lexa her phone to play music, as much as she wanted to know what the blond had planned Lexa was scared to speak, she didn’t want the blond to yell at her.

Clarke didn’t even say a word when she pulled into a local café, she left Lexa in the car when she went in to order, the brunette wanted to follow her but she didn’t know if the invitation was open so instead she stayed in the car. The blond wordlessly gave her a bowl of granola and they ate in silence, once Clarke was done, she started her car and pulled back onto the road.

“You’ve made it clear you don’t want to talk to us, but I know you Lex and I know something is wrong with you. It must be bad or scary or something if you won’t even tell me.” She paused and looked over to Lexa, she let out an annoyed huff when the brunette was still staring out the window. “So, you don’t want to talk to me, fine. But you’re going to talk to my dad.” Lexa’s attention snapped and her eyes shot over to the blonds. “Don’t even Lexa. I thought we were over shutting me out.” Lexa couldn’t help but see how sad her eyes were. “I broke up with him you know, I mean you would know if you replied to my calls or texts. But that night he tried to hit you, I broke it off.” She took a deep breath, almost wishing Lexa would chime in and speak.

“You were right you are more important to him and you always have been. We promised that no boys or girls or anyone would come between us and I knew you all didn’t like him, but I thought I did. I appreciate you letting me choose who I want because you trust me, but he broke the trust that went his way too. And now you’re not talking to me and I can’t help but think that me dating him was the worst thing, because it fucked us up and I don’t ever want that to happen.” Clarke was crying at this point.

“Pull over, I’m going to throw up.” Lexa ordered her and she quickly pulled over to the side of the road. Lexa didn’t know if it was the guilt of making her best friend so hurt, or the baby that had this reaction. But it made her feel even worse as Clarke helped her through it as she wiped away the tears that Lexa had caused. When the episode was over Lexa got in the car and Clarke started it again. Lexa put her hand on Clarkes over the wheel, causing the blond to look over to her.

“Were almost there.” Clarke said sounding deflated, and Lexa couldn’t blame her. So she took in a deep breath and looked at her best friend who she had known for most of her life, she could feel the tear spring into her eyes and she knew that Clarke saw the ones falling. “Lex?” Clarke asked with a voice so full of concern that it broke her heart.

“I’m.” She tried to say it, but she hadn’t been able to get the words out. She hadn’t even said them to herself, they had only been said to her once. Clarke placed a hand on her thigh and tried to help her through what she was going through, even though she didn’t understand. Lexa shook her head and she knew that she had no choice, Clarke deserved to know. “I’m pregnant.” She said in barely a whisper. She knew that Clarke heard her and could feel her eyes piercing into the side of her head.

“We don’t have to talk to my dad.” Clarke offered, not knowing what else to say.

“No, I think it’s time I finally told someone, we can talk there.” Lexa said and Clarke nodded and finally started her car. They drove the rest of the way in silence again, expect this time it wasn’t an angry silence, Lexa could practically her Clarke thinking.

“Hey girls, I didn’t expect to see you guys today.” Jake Griffin smiled at them as they pulled into the driveway of Clarkes childhood home.

“Hey dad, hope you don’t mind, but we need to talk.” Jake welcomed them in when he saw the looks on their faces, he almost made a joke about hoping his daughter wasn’t pregnant, which he was later glad he kept his mouth shut.

Jake greeted both girls properly once they got inside, but he hadn’t expected Lexa to break down in his arms. Just as she had done with Becca the other week. It all hit her, the pregnancy, the fight with Finn, the fights with raven, it all got too much. He gave Clarke a concerned look and she gave him a sad one in returned, they had both seen Lexa in states like this before, they were some of the only ones to see her vulnerable side but they were both shocked to see her like this without knowing the reason.

“Can I get you a drink?” He asked and she could barely muster the word ‘water’ from her dry throat. Clarke led her over to the couch and they sat side by side.

“I’m so sorry.” Lexa cried out as she lent her head on Clarke’s shoulder, the blond ran comforting circles on her back as they waited for her dad.

“Okay so what is going on here?” Jake asked trying to lighten the mood, which Lexa appreciated, she hated when things were too serious.

“Promise you won’t be mad at me?” Lexa questioned with a sad low voice.

“Lex dear, when have I ever been mad at you? Not even when you crashed my car.” He said clutching his heart in dramatization, again lightening the mood.

“That is a good point, he loved that car.” Clarke joked with her, Lexa smiled and nodded her head.

“Okay so I’m pregnant.” She said straight out, and Jake almost choked on the water he was drinking but composed himself, he looked at her and nodded for her to continue, knowing there was more to the story. “Now I know to everyone I’m the token gay kid and have never done anything with a boy. But you guys know that it took me a lot to come to terms with my sexuality and even though I identify as a lesbian, I find some boys attractive and although I had never slept with one I wasn’t completely opposed to it.” Lexa explained and they nodded as she did both knowing her struggles when they were growing up. “I don’t know if there is a certain sexuality for that, but I personally have no trouble identifying as gay because I would only date women and prefer them. But at a party I met a guy and we were drunk and ended up hooking up. It was so bad, he probably turned me off all men. But in a way I was okay with experiencing it, so I went home and didn’t really think too much about it. Until I skipped my period twice and did a home test, it came back positive. So I went to my doctor and she did a blood test which was also positive. We did a scan and although I couldn’t see much or hear the heartbeat, she said I’m due in June.” She got through her story and felt proud in herself for saying it all out loud to some of the most important people in her life. She also got through it without crying.

“I’m not mad I promise.” Jake said reaching over and holding her hand with a soft smile.

“But?” Lexa questioned knowing he was holding something back.

“I thought I taught you girls to use protection.” He said rubbing his eyebrows.

“I thought we did, or I told him to.” Lexa admitted still confused to what happen, or if she even did ask him.

“Are you keeping it?” Clarke asked and Lexa took in a deep breath, once she admitted it out loud, she knew it was certain and she wasn’t going to go back on her choice.


	5. five

_“Lexa Woods welcome to your new home.” Her social worker smiled to her. The six-year-old had no idea what the tall lady meant by new home, why couldn’t she live at her old house. That’s all she wanted to go home and see her mama, she hadn’t seen her since the day she had been wheeled away on that weird bed when she wouldn’t wake up. Lexa looked up to the woman and tugged on the bottom of the jacket as she spoke to another older lady. “Yes?” She asked bending down to her size, she was practically kneeling on the floor. She hadn’t realized how small the girl was until she was on the floor._

_“I want my mama, I want to go home.” She couldn’t help the tears that fell down her face._

_“Your mama is in heaven, she isn’t coming back. This is your home now.” The lady smiled at her and left the house. Leaving little Lexa alone in the house she had never seen with people she had never met. Trying to explain foster care to a six-year-old was hard enough but trying to explain the death of the only family the girl ever knew was harder._

_If it wasn’t for a certain blond hair blue eyed girl, she met at school the next day Lexa would never had made it to seven let alone twenty. They instantly clicked and were inseparable despite the eight different homes she had lived in and the three group homes she ended up in when no one wanted her. They all said she was a bad kid, but she was troubled and abused. Clarke and Jake saw her for what she really was and took her in when she didn’t want to go home or had suffered a beating for something a younger kid had done to anger the parents._

_But none of that even broke Lexa, she was the strongest people the Griffins knew, and they knew that the girl was special, no matter how many people told her she wasn’t worth it. The only constant in her life was them and then eventually Raven and Octavia she met later. But without that sweet blond-haired kid she would have believed what the world had tried to teach her. She owed everything to her._

…

“I’m keeping it.” Lexa said firmly, trusting her gut. “Now I know I’m young and didn’t have the best up bringing, but that’s why I know I can’t give this baby up.” She gave them a sad smile and as hard as it would be without their blessing or help, she would still have this baby.

“I will support you with whatever you need.” Jake smile and Lexa felt the weight of the world lift off her shoulder and she instantly got up to wrap Jake in a hug. She hadn’t realized how much she needed to hear those words. “Lexa you know how much I love you, you are a daughter to me.” He paused and smiled to her before taking her hand and sitting down with her again. “I sent up a fund for you and Clarke and I was going to gift it to you for college, but since you both got full rides you didn’t need them. So, I am offering you yours now, you can take it or not, that’s up to you. But it is always going to be there.

“I have known you most your life and I know how hard you worked for everything, how much harder you worked than everyone else. So, I know that you will work just as hard for this baby and you. But you are in college and if you want to continue with it, take a break, drop out and work is again completely your choice. But in a lot of ways I raised both you girls on my own and I know how much this could help you. Please don’t think of it as a handout, think of it as a thank you.” Lexa was again crying. 

Ever since she was a kid, she never imagined having a dad in her life and for a lot of the time she was okay with it. But she never knew how much she was missing out until she saw Jake waiting for Clarke by the school gate every day. It wasn’t until he changed their route to walk Lexa home too. It wasn’t until he left their backdoor open every night, so Lexa didn’t have to sneak in the window when things got tough wherever she was. It wasn’t until she graduated, and he cheered just as loud for her as he had with Clarke. He was her father and he had saved her life alongside that sweet blond kid.

Her first instinct was to reject the offer, yell and scream that she didn’t need it or want it. That she wasn’t a charity case. But she saw his face and how nervous he looked to offer it, because that was the exact opposite, he wanted her to think. She saw the tears rolling down his face. She noticed Clarke who was also crying at the interaction.

“I have been thinking truthfully, about college and I think it’s best if I finish the year, we only have a few months left and then either find another course later after the baby, or work. And as much as I hate the thought of taking money from you I know that you are doing it out of the kindness of you heart, you said I don’t take handouts, and I don’t. You are my father, or at least the closest thing I have to one. I know you feel the same about me so I will accept your money when I need it, but I still have the money from my mom. Which I admit isn’t a lot, it keeps me comfortable, but I don’t imagine it doing so for long. With your money I promise that it will only go towards the thing that I need and the baby needs.

“God that feels so weird to say out loud, I’m having a baby. Can you believe it Clarke me a mom, I always wanted to be one. I know I’m rambling, but I haven’t said these words out loud.” Clarke and her dad were smiling at the girl letting her rant about the things going on, neither admitting that they had lost her point. But they let her go on about the size of baby things.

“Okay enough about me, Clarke and Finn broke up.” Lexa sat down after her head finished spiralling, she sat by her who instantly pushed her away shocked that she would expose her like that to her dad.

“Clarke you really dated that boy for so long?” He asked looking disappointed, and Lexa couldn’t help but laugh at how he was more disappointed in her for dating a boy for two months than Lexa who was pregnant.

“Well we broke up after Lexa yelled at him and he tried to hit her, so I cut my losses.” She admitted and rolled her eyes when her dad high fived Lexa.

“Not much to lose dear, do you mind grabbing me another water please?” He asked he is daughter and she nodded leaving the pair alone. “When are you going to stop fighting the boyfriends and girlfriends?” Jake asked her, already knowing the answer.

“When I am the girlfriend.” Lexa told him and he let out a proud smile. Everyone and their mom knew about the feelings Lexa had for Clarke, well everyone but Clarke. Hell, she even got pregnant the night Clarke and Finn got together, she wasn’t sure how long she could hide that part, but she wanted to, for the blonds sake. Lexa had made her feelings known a few times many years ago, but it never went anywhere and a few days later Clarke had a boyfriend. They were in high school and Clarke was very scared to admit her sexuality she saw the way Lexa was tortured for it. But after high school she excepted her bisexuality and even though her feelings for Clarke never really went away she never acted on them, they were probably better friends.

“So you trap her with the baby.” Jake joked and Lexa had let out a loud laugh. She was so glad Clarke dragged her here, Jake really brought her out of the depression she was falling into. But with one day here she felt okay about her future and with the support of Clarke and Jake alone her baby would have the best life. All she had to do know was tell her other friends, hopefully that went as well as this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a shit week, and it's only tuesday, so here's an update. hope you enjoy. comment that you all hope to see in the story. between clarke and lexa, the pregnancy other ships. something to give me motivation to keep writing and you like it enough to want more.


	6. six

The pair spent all day with Jake, deciding to leave after dinner. It was nice for both girls to get away from the apartment and their other friends. Jake had a way of easing things up and helping either through whatever troubles they were going through. Which really helped Lexa, the smile hadn’t left her face all day, and Clarke was glad her best friend was finally feeling better.

“I want to do this with you.” Clarke said out of nowhere as they drove home. Lexa looked up from her phone and looked at the blond confused, not quite knowing what she was getting at. “This whole baby thing, you don’t have to do this all alone. I want to help, go to appointments with you, I don’t know whatever you need.” Lexa was shocked at the offer, sure she knew her friends would help and she should have expected this from Clarke but she didn’t want to pressure any of them into it, they were still young and unlike her not forced to deal with it.

“I couldn’t ask that of you.” Lexa said shaking her head and giving a small smile to the blond.

“Good thing I’m not asking.” Clarke gave her signature grin to which Lexa rolled her eyes, in all the years shed known her, she knew that once Clarke made up her mind there was no changing it. “I’m serious Lex, whatever you need.”

“You want to help me tell Raven and O?” Lexa asked with a playful tone but both girls knew that she was being serious, and it was something that needed to be done. It was also something that really scared Lexa because she knew what both girls were like and how bad the situation could go if they didn’t agree.

“Of course, we can tell them tomorrow.” Clarke said taking a hold of her hand to help calm the nerves building in her.

…

“Good morning.” Octavia chimed as her and Clarke came into their apartment the next morning. Lexa was feeling better despite her anxieties, she had woken up fairly early and even though the smell of Ravens coffee had almost sent her over the edge, she hadn’t thrown up. She did force herself to sit in the lounge instead of out in the kitchen as she drank it. “We brought food.” She sang out as she came into the lounge where they were both sitting watching Netflix.

“What you bring me?” Raven asked jumping up from the couch and helping Octavia unload the bags as Clarke sat up Lexa. But the brunette didn’t even have to hear what was brought before the smell of eggs hit her nose, she had never liked eggs, but with all her senses in overdrive it ended up hitting her too hard. It seemed like a routine at this point, Lexa was on the way to the bathroom before the other girls had even finished opening the containers.

“Well I think now is as good of time as any.” Clarke softly laughed as she helped Lexa stand up and clean her face. Lexa couldn’t help but agree, everyone was very aware of this ‘stomach bug’ Lexa had been sporting for the past two weeks.

“I can’t wait for this part to be over.” Lexa said weakly and Clarke couldn’t help but give her a sad smile and helped her back to the couch.

“Are you still sick Lex?” Octavia asked even though the answer to that was pretty obvious, but the girl gave her a nod as she tried to overcome the queasiness she felt with the smell of all the breakfast foods sitting in the enclosed space. Clarke seemed to notice what she needed and opened the door to the balcony letting in a gush of fresh air. “Girl, you need to go to a doctor.” O said looking concerned, Clarke was right this really was the best time to say something, while it was only them.

“I need to tell you guys something.” She said taking in a deep breath and pushing past all the negative thoughts in her head. Both girls looked up from their spots on the floor and waited for her to continue. “I’m pregnant.” She said and Clarke place her hand in Lexa’s offering her the support she promised. The other two looked confused and Raven was waiting for the punch line of the joke and her to tell them she was playing.

“With whose dick?” Raven asked laughing, but quickly stopped when she saw the annoyed look on Lexa’s face and the anger on Clarkes. So, for the second time in two days Lexa explained the story to them. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch lately, and that joke I made about you being gay, and the dick one.” Ravens whole demeanour changed, she felt bad over the way she had pissed Lexa off lately, not that she knew what was going on, but she hadn’t made life easy.

“I’m sorry for not telling you guys sooner, but I barely accepted it until yesterday when I told Clarke and Jake.” She looked between both her friends and wasn’t sure how Octavia felt, but knew that when it came to it, she would have all their love and support.

“And you’re keeping it?” Octavia finally asked, Lexa nodded in response. “You’re okay with that decision?” She again asked and Lexa again nodded.

“I want this baby, even if it didn’t come at a time or situation, I planned it’s still mine and I want to keep it.” Lexa smiled which caused the other girls to smile too seeing how passionate she was about it.

“When do you find out the sex?” Raven asked with an excited expression. She wouldn’t admit it right away because she knew Lexa struggled with it, but she was really excited for a baby. She never had siblings until she met and connected with these girls, but the prospect of having a niece or nephew was so exciting to her.

“At like twenty something weeks, I’m eight now. But I don’t know it will find out the sex. I’m happy with either, doesn’t bother me, as long as their healthy.” She answered honestly, sex and gender never mattered much to Lexa and she knew that she would never have a problem with either.

“Thank you for telling us, I can’t imagine what’s going on in your head lately. But please don’t feel scared to talk to us about things.” Octavia said as she stood up and pulled Lexa into a hug. The pair stood there for a few moments and let their emotions take over for a little. Soon enough it was a group hug between all four women.

…

“Hottie alert.” Lexa cringed as she walked into the frat house later that day. This was the last place she wanted to be, especially after the two good days she had, but this had to be done. Clarke would have killed her if she knew Lexa was doing this alone, but Lexa knew that she couldn’t do it with the blond with her.

“I need to talk to Atom.” She said ignoring the cringing look she got from the other guys.

“Back for another round.” He laughed as he led her up the stairs back to his room. He had a dopey looking smile on his face as he sat on her bed and he tried to sit her down too.

“Did you use a condom?” She asked wasting no time, she didn’t want to be here longer than she had to. “I told you to use one.”

“I don’t like the way they feel.” He smiled smugly at her. She was beyond mad, she couldn’t believe he betrayed her trust like that. She couldn’t help but thing about how many other girls he had done this to.

“Well congrats, you’re going to be a dad.” She gave him the same smug smile he gave her. Lexa watched his face drop.

“You weren’t on the pill?” He asked panicked and Lexa shook her head, she did tell him this, but obviously he was too busy trying to get himself off. “I couldn’t care less if you kept it or got rid of it, but I will have nothing to do with the kid.” He said in an angered voice, and as much as Lexa knew that was the response, she should have expected it still hurt for him to say. She went to say something, but he raised his hand and interrupted. “Get out of my house.”

With that she left the house. There was no point trying to fight him on his choice and she knew he wouldn’t change the way he though. It also didn’t change the way she thought, she was keeping the baby and she was okay with that. She was okay doing it alone because her friends proved today that she really wouldn’t be alone. She had Octavia, Raven and Jake but most importantly she had Clarke.

“You did what?” Clarke yelled as she got back to her apartment after her trip to the frat. She knew that this lecture was coming, and she couldn’t hide the hurt from her face when she walked into their home.

“I had to talk to him, and I knew you weren’t going to let me go alone.” She huffed out moving to the fridge to get a bottle of water. “It’s no big deal, I had a deadbeat dad, never met the guy. I know a kid needs stability and love in its life and they will have that with me and you guys and Jake. I know I’m meant to be angry and upset that the dad doesn’t want to be a part of our life. But I’m okay with it. It was a random hook up, I wasn’t in love with the dude.” Lexa said nonchalantly, and honestly meaning it.

“I call aunt.” Raven said easing the tension as they all laughed.

“Yeah no shit, I thought that was a given.” Lexa playfully punched her arm as they all settled down in the living room for a much-needed movie night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all enjoyed, if you want to chat or leave a suggestion you can do so in the comments or add my tumblr lifemeetslove xx


	7. seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's a nice fluffy lil chapter

“So are you going to tell anyone else?” Raven asked as they ate breakfast the next day. She had apologised for the constant morning coffees and had offered to just get them outside the house, which Lexa hated that she agreed to. But both of them knew that it was better than the brunette with her head in the toilet every morning.

“I don’t really have anyone else to tell, apart from the other guys from school. But I think I’ll wait until after the twelve-week scan. Becca said that pregnancy can be risky up until then, so I might wait till I know everything’s okay.” She explained and Raven agreed that she had told who she needed to at the moment and the others could wait.

“We probably should get a bigger, safer place.” Raven suggested as she looked over their apartment at all the sharp edges and the small two-bedroom place. Lexa was shocked at the words and gave her a surprising look, which Raven laughed at. “What you think I’d ditch you after bub is born, leave you living alone?” Raven asked with genuine concern and love in her voice.

“Honestly, I expected to just move into another place and live alone.” She shrugged her shoulders, not having any real problem with the thought of living alone.

“Nope not happening. We should rent a house, Clarke is dying to leave O and Linc. And I’m pretty sure they’re thinking of moving when their lease is up. You have baby on the way, so why not.” Lexa was confused to how simply Raven seemed to suggest the idea of the three of them moving into a house to practically raise a baby.

Lexa found it hard to accept the help she needs, she always had. So, from the moment she found out she was pregnant she had expected to do it alone and her friends visit every now and then while they were all in a new baby bubble. Eventually they would either get bored or busy and go on with their lives forgetting about Lexa. But in the past three days everyone had turned that idea on its head and now they were discussing buying a house, so Lexa had a place to raise her baby.

“Hey, where’d you go?” Lexa jumped at the hand on her shoulder, she looked up from her plate to see Clarke and Octavia standing in her kitchen. She had been so deep in thought she hadn’t notice them arrive.

“I told her we should buy a house and she zoned out on me.” Raven explained as she picked up their dirty dishes and took them to the sink. Lexa smiled at the two girls as they sat down with them.

“You’re stealing my best friend and buying a house with her.” Clarke fake pouted and placed her hand over her heart.

“Play your cards right and we might let you rent out a room.” Lexa said playfully as the other girls laughed. “So, what are you ladies doing here so early?” Lexa asked once the joking stopped.

“Well for one wanted to see if you and Raven weren’t lying about your truce and hadn’t killed each other yet.” Octavia said as Lexa and Raven rolled their eyes. “Also, to see if you still had your head in the toilet this morning.”

“Sadly, I still have a month of that until it should pass, but this morning has been okay. But I put that down to no coffee and only cereal this morning.” Lexa had felt a lot better this morning and she did put it down to the lack of foul smells but also not feeling so anxious. Her secret was out, and it did take a huge weight off her shoulders.

“Do you have class today?” Clarke asked her knowing that she had barely been in the last two weeks.

“Yeah at 12.” Lexa said checking her phone and the time wasn’t even 9.30.

“Are you going?” Raven asked her.

“I think it’s time I get back into real life even if I’m dropping out.” She said as she took a sip of water, the other two were shocked at her confession, Lexa had always worked so hard to get where she was and they couldn’t imagine her letting something get in the way. “I spoke to Jake about it, I’ll finish this year, might as well. Then maybe take a year off and go back or find a job.” It wasn’t a big deal to Lexa at the moment she knew that she would make things work and once the baby was born, she wouldn’t be the most important thing in her life.

“I’ll stay with you till you have class.” Clarke offered also not having class until later that afternoon, unlike the other two who had to leave the house soon to make it on time.

…

Lexa laid awake in her bed tossing and turning since 12 it was now nearing 2.30 in the morning. She couldn’t get comfortable no matter what way she laid. She was also hit with her first intense craving, thankfully to her it wasn’t some weird pickle ice-cream combo but a greasy burger from whatever fast-food shop was open. It had been on her mind since Raven served some rice dish for dinner that didn’t hit the spot. Now hours later she knew the only thing that could settle her was the burger her mind was craving. She opened her phone to text Clarke, the blond was usually up late Monday nights as she didn’t have class the next day and would spend the night painting. She told herself that if Clarke was up, she would go and get them, if not she would force herself to sleep.

 **Lexa:** you up?

 **Clarke:** You sound like a frat bro

 **Lexa:** don’t remind me of frat bros last time i got knocked up. speaking of i have a mad craving for a burger wanna come

 **Clarke:** I’ll drive if you shout

 **Lexa:** done now come get me

Within ten minutes Lexa was in Clarkes car and they pulled out of the parking lot to get her food. Lexa was grateful that she had someone like Clarke in her life, someone that made the worst situations barrable and simple to deal with.

“When you said cravings I expected some pickles and Nutella shit, but damn Woods, burgers is pretty tame.” Clarke laughed as she kept her eyes on the road.

“Well I for one am happy with a simple burger craving, and when I do have some weird cravings, you best believe I’m calling your ass to get it for me.” Lexa smiled at the blond who slightly threw her back and laughed at the request.

“That’s what I’m here for babe, anytime any cravings.” Lexa ignored the feeling in her chest and tried to get back to the banter they usually had. But her mind kept going over how simple things were with her and how amazing she had been in the last few days. Maybe it was the hormones or they way she had cared for Lexa but the feelings she had been pushing down for a while were starting to resurface.

She was pulled from her thoughts when Clarke asked what she wanted, she put in her order of a bacon burger and a mcflurry. She let Clarke order what she wanted and used her card to pay for the both of them. They sat quietly in the drive through as they waited for their food and pulled into the parking lot as they ate their food. Clarke was never one to eat and drive so Lexa was used to eating their meals in the car. Suddenly another craving hit Lexa.

“Would you think I was totally insane if I ate this with ice-cream?” Lexa asked pointing at the burger. This earned another laugh from Clarke. “What it’s what the baby wants.” She shrugged her shoulder and opened the top bun to put the ice-cream in it.

“You disgust me woman.” Clarke said trying not to laugh as she took a bite of her ice-cream free burger. She saw Lexa's eyes light up as she took the first bite and couldn’t believe that she was watching her best friend eat such a thing.

“This is so good, try it.” She held the burger of to the blond who playfully slapped her hand away. “I need to know if its my whack hormones or I’m actually onto something.” Lexa gave her a pleading look and Clarke knew that she wasn’t able to deny her request, she tried to push it away again, but the other girl gave her the puppy dog eyes and Clarke was done for.

“If this is bad you’re walking home.” She put her own burger down and took a hold of Lexa's.

“You’re going to make a pregnant woman walk all the way home, you monster.” Clarke immediately rolled her eyes and scolded Lexa for using the pregnancy card. She took a bite of the burger and hated that it didn’t taste half as bad as she thought it would. It wasn’t something she would ever order to eat, she could see how Lexa found it good.

“Okay it’s not that bad, but you’re still gross.” Clarke said giving back the burger and going back to her own. They spent almost an hour sitting in the lot eating and talking like it wasn’t 3am, so when they got back to the apartment Clarke followed Lexa and crashed with her.


	8. eight

Lexa hadn't even bothered to set an alarm for the class she was meant to attend early the next morning. When she got home with Clarke late into the morning she knew there was no way she would force herself up. So instead she spent the time she was meant to be in class cuddled up to her best friend.

“Lex.” She was forced awake by someone shaking her softly, she opened her eyes to see Clarke leaning over her. “Your phone’s rang twice now.” Clarke said handing over the device. Lexa sat up and wiped the sleep from her eyes as she answered the unknown number.

“Hello?” She asked. 

_“Hello, is this Lexa Woods?”_ A feminine voice spoke through the phone.

“Yes.” She was confused to who was calling her.

 _“I’m from the deans office, are you able to come in this afternoon for a meeting at four?”_ Panic set through Lexa, she knew that there would be consequences for not going to class the last couple weeks, but she didn’t expect a meeting with the dean.

“Yes of course.” They said goodbye and then Lexa hung up and looked over to Clarke who was looking at her waiting for an explanation to the phone call. “I have a meeting with the dean this afternoon, his probably going to take the scholarship off me.” She wasn’t trying to think of the worst but she knew that it’s a possibility and she hadn't been a great student lately. Not that she really cared, she had already decided she wanted to take time off, maybe she just wouldn’t finish the year.

“Can he just do that?” She asked concerned for her best friend and her future.

“Who knows, but I haven’t been to class in close to three weeks because of how unwell I’ve been.” She admitted.

“We’ll get through this, no matter what happens, you’ll be okay.” Clarke smiled at her and wrapped her in a hug. Neither of them had anywhere to be until later so they spent most the the mid morning out of the couch watching Netflix waiting for four to come along.

…

“Are you sure you don’t want me to wait here?” Clarke asked as she got changed to meet with the dean. “I can cook something.” Clarke offered with her signature smile. She knew that Clarke was still dealing with her break up with Finn and didn’t want to be alone at home, not when she consistently had to watch Octavia and Lincoln happily in love.

“You can stay if you want, Rae will be home soon.” Lexa agreed knowing she would probably stay anyway. She kissed the top of her blond hair and left her apartment to meet with the dean.

“Now Lexa you were one of our most promising applicants when you started here a couple years ago, that’s why you got the scholarship you did. You had never missed a class, so please explain to me why in the last three weeks you’ve been to three in total.” He sat across from her with a stern face, Lexa wasn’t scared of him but she was nervous about the outcome and what he was going to punish her with. Hopefully she could just explain it away without giving away too much.

“I’m sorry sir, but I have been really unwell and haven't been up to make it to class.” She didn’t want to tell him about the pregnancy, that would only make things worse. Then her scholarship really would be taken off her.

“I understand that everyone is affected by sickness, but three weeks. You have no idea how much you missed out on.” He scolded her and she sat and took it nodding her head, admitting her mistakes. “Now I don’t want to lose a student like you miss Woods, but I also wont tolerate the behaviour, so it will not happen again and I do expect a doctor to sign you off on the time you missed.” Lexa agreed and thanked him not being able to leave quicker. She left him and went straight back home to explain to the girls that he had given her the second chance she needed. She just had to keep up her side of the deal and put in effort for the next two months.

…

“So when were you going to tell me you were still in love with Clarke?” Raven asked barging into her room a couple days later. Lexa looked up from her laptop in shock at the girl.

“What are you on about.” She tried to push her away but Raven just joined her on the bed.

“So we all know that I’m genius right.” She paused and waited for Lexa’s response, which was only her rolling her eyes and a nod of her head. “Right, so I did some math. About a certain baby and party, but what a shock to me when I realised that, that was the very night Clarke got with Finn.” Raven stared her right in the eyes and not breaking the contest. Lexa felt her face heat up and her stomach fall at the same time. She knew that Raven would be the one to put it all together, but she hoped she wouldn’t have. “You told me you were over her.” To most it would have seemed Raven was picking on the girl but Lexa knew that Raven cared deeply about her and despite the playful tone she cared for Lexa's feeling.

“That’s what I tried to tell myself, but you know how I get when she’s in a relationship. I’m fine with my feelings when she’s single. But the second someone shows interest everything comes flying back up. I don’t think my feelings for Clarke will ever go away. I developed feelings when we were freshmen in high school, she even knows that. I just have to find a way to deal with them.” There was something about Raven that always made her vulnerable and she couldn’t help but rant to the girl. She was also the most observant and could pick up on what most people couldn’t.

“Or just tell her you still have those feelings, I don’t know how she hasn’t picked up on. You’re not that subtle. Do you want my honest opinion?” Raven asked and Lexa nodded, valuing her say in the matter. “Clarke may be smart but she’s not the brightest when it comes to this, when it comes to you. In school you told her you liked her and she didn’t want to think about how she felt so she started dating some boy, and when you started dating Costia she broke up with him, because she knew that maybe you guys could just go back to being best buddies, and you let her believe you did.

“Which is fine, I’m not saying it was the wrong this to do. But six years later you still feel the same and she things you got over them. Now I don’t know if she feels the same as she did back then, but I know the relationship she shared with you is one of the reasons she started to question her sexuality. There is something special between you guys, there always has been, but life got in the way.

“So you need to choose whether you want her enough to balance your friendship on it, even though I don’t believe that this would break it. Or you have to get over your feelings and focus on you and you kid and accept her a friend. Because Clarke will find someone one day that she might settle down with and if that’s not you, you have to make sure you’re okay with it and can still be friends with her.” Raven finished her rant and let her words settle in the air as Lexa took it all in with a serious look on her face.

“I just don’t know if I could deal with feelings on top of everything else right now. I love Clarke I have forever, but she doesn’t feel the same about me.” She was not only admitting it to Raven but herself, she would always want something with her, but those feelings weren’t mutual.

“I personally think she hasn’t let herself explore them, but with a little charm for your fine ass could change that.” She chose that very moment to leave the room and leaving a frustrated Lexa who had no idea what she was meant to do in a situation like this.

 _‘Damn baby hormones.’_ She couldn’t help but blame it on the life inside of her, messing with her life in so many ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i just watched the season finale of the 100. and i have no idea what to say or think. so many words and yet i still dont know what to say about it. so here's a chp to bring some peace to my swirly brain and bring my happy clexa family endgame to the world.   
> feel free to chat with me in the comments or on my tumblr to avoid spoiling. @lifemeetslove  
> what a way to end 7 years


	9. Chapter 9

“Clarke do you have any frozen peas or ice packs? Anything.” Lexa asked in a clearly annoyed voice through the phone. Clarke would have found the request funny is she hadn’t heard the pain in her voice and the small groans she heard as soon as she picked up her phone.

 _“I’m sure O and I have something, what’s wrong are you okay?”_ She couldn’t help but feel slightly worried about Lexa or the baby. Her mother was a doctor and she knew she much pregnancy could affect the mother and the side effects of it.

“My boobs are killing me, and Rae and I have no cold compression. I don’t really want to go to the store so you’re either going to make me very happy or very sad.” Clarke could feel her pout through the phone. “Can you also bring over the things for grilled cheese Ravens meant to go shopping tonight and we ran out of bread.” She whined through the phone as Clarke laughed at the request.

 _“I’ll be there in ten babe.”_ Lexa thanked her as she hung up and went back to trying to find a way to reduce the pain before the blond showed up. She was lying on the couch in a pair of shorts and the loses top she could find, but nothing was helping, she was so comfortable and couldn’t even touch them to help decrease the pain, it only made it worse. So all she could do was wait for Clarke.

“You are my saviour.” Lexa moaned out when Clarke came through the door holding two ice packs and a couple bags of frozen peas. She gave the brunette two of the packs wrapped in a hand towel which she instantly placed on her sore boobs. The instant cool of the compression sent chills down her back and a moan to her lips at the relief. “This already feels so much better.” She thanked her.

“I’ll be back in like ten minutes, I’m going to make you a grilled cheese stay here.” Clarke kissed the top of her head and left for the kitchen. Keeping true on her promise she came back within ten minutes holding two plates.

“You are a god send Griffin.” Lexa sat up slightly letting Clarke sit next to her as they ate their lunch. Once they had finished Lexa laid her head down in the blonds lap who smiled down at her. Lexa knew that Clarke was always a clingy person and now without a partner to share it with she would act more affectionate, which Lexa didn’t mind, until it messed with her feelings.

Clarke turned on the tv and put on some Netflix show. She was running her fingers through the messy brown hair. Lexa loved when Clarke played with her hair and felt herself slowly falling asleep to the feeling.

Lexa stayed napping in Clarke’s lap until Raven got home with all their other friends. She had forgot that it was Friday and they would be coming over. She instantly panicked when her mind went to the ice packs on her boobs, which had clearly started to melt and left her top wet. Clarke thought faster than she did and pulled one of the blankets sitting on the side table over her to cover her. She silently thanked her just as everyone else walked in. 

“Full house tonight.” Clarke said greeting her friends. All their friends were over, including all their extended friendship. Lexa pulled up her phone and couldn’t help but see it was the last Friday of the month which was usually when they caught up with everyone. Raven mutter a sorry as Lexa sat up with the blanket still wrapped around her, she scooted closer to Clarke to let the others sit by her.

There was a total of ten people in the small home and Lexa couldn’t help but feel claustrophobic. Basically everyone she knew was in her apartment Clarke, Octavia, Lincoln, Raven, Jasper, Monty, Harper, Echo and Emori. She also couldn’t help but notice how dressed up they were compared to a usual jeans and shirt it was dresses and dress shirts, they were going clubbing.

“Get your asses up ladies we are going to grounders.” Echo cheered as she came in and sat by them. Grounders was the local collage club. Lexa wanted to make an excuse, but she had skipped out on this since the party where she got knocked up and knew that most of her friends wouldn’t let her skip this. Raven again mouthed a sorry and Lexa shook her head at her. This was the best she had felt in a few weeks, after seeing Becca the other day for school she had given her some medication for the nausea which had been helping. She thought she might as well go out for a few hours before she wouldn’t be able to at all.

“I think I left some of my clothes in you room.” Clarke stood up and helped Lexa stand up to sit in Lexa’s lap. The brunette knew what she was doing and wrapped her legs around her waist and her arms around her neck. Clarke quickly made her way into Lexa’s room.

“Thank you.” Lexa breathed a sigh of relief as they were in the privacy of her own room. She looked down as her chest as Clarke laughed at the two very obvious wet spots. “I don’t even care, you have no idea how much they helped. Lexa went to her wardrobe and opened it throwing a few of Clarkes dresses at her. The amount of times Clarke had come home with her drunk and left wearing Lexa’s close the girl was starting to build a collection of party dresses.

“I’m sure you can talk your way out of coming somehow.” Clarke said taking off her clothes as Lexa did on the other side of the room.

“It’s fine, I don’t feel too bad and I haven’t been out in a while. They’ll get sus soon, plus I won’t be able to do it soon enough, so might as well while I can.” She said pulling in a pair of ripped jeans and a button-down shirt.

“Have fun explaining not drinking.” She said, Lexa was big for having fun while out and while she never went too far, she knew her limits, she liked to drink. But that wouldn’t happen for a while.

“I’ll drive, no one wants a drunk designated driver.” She offered making sure she put her keys in her purse. “At least Raven knows, so she won’t be a dickhead and push me to drink.” Clarke couldn’t help but laugh and agree knowing that she was the one to go too far on a night out.


	10. ten

“Don’t be mad, I tried to convince them to stay in. But you know how they all are.” Raven apologised as they were walking into the club.

“I don’t mind, really. It feels nice to get out of the house. I’ll probably only stay a few hours.” She pulled the girl into a side hug as they spoke over the music trying to find the others who ran in as soon as Lexa pulled up.

“Babe the last time you smelt vodka you threw up.” Raven laughed remembering her reaction to the smell and her walking in on Finn and Clarke.

“I took some medication that I hope will pull through for me.” She assured the girl and they made a beeline for their friends who had found a booth and were all sitting there with a few empty shot glasses. “Were did you get this from?” Lexa asked pointing at the big bottle of vodka sitting on the table. They had been there not even five minutes and they somehow had that.

“You forget who owns this club.” Emori said pointing over to her boyfriend John Murphy who was standing by the bar. Now it made sense that they had a booth and alcohol.

“Sad you choose to be the dd tonight?” Jasper teased her, but to no avail.

“Nah, I’ll survive.” The three other girls giggled knowing full well that Lexa wasn’t mad about not drinking.

They had been at the club for a few hours and as much as Lexa thought she wouldn’t, she was having a good time with her friends. Most of who were beyond drunk and were either off on the dance floor with someone or at the table with Lexa as Clarke was at the moment. She had drank too much too fast trying to keep up with Raven, even after all their years of friendship she wouldn’t accept that the Latina could out drink her any day.

“You’re so pretty.” Clarke complimented Lexa as she leaned her head on her shoulder. Lexa couldn’t help but laugh at the comment.

Clarke was an affectionate person in general, but with alcohol in her system she was even more so. If she wasn’t with a boyfriend or girlfriend Lexa got the brunt of it, especially when they were drunk. It had always been that way, it caused for cuddle sessions and on the rare occasion a few kisses or make out sessions when the blond was sad or lonely. It played with Lexa a lot, but she dealt with it because Clarke was her best friend, and it felt nice to be wanted like that. What really affected Lexa was when Clarke would wake up the next day and forget or pretend it never happened, like Lexa meant nothing to her. They hadn’t kissed since high school, but Lexa would never forget the feeling that Clarke could invoke in her when she was done with her and moved on to the next person. She was never aware of the way Lexa felt and she wasn’t going to tell her. But Clarke played with her in high school and it was one of the reasons she caught feeling for the blond.

“Can I sleep over tonight?” Clarke asked in her dazed state pulling Lexa out of her thoughts, but it also amplified them. She had no one to go home with so now she was asking Lexa, who would of course agree, but if the blond was taken, she would have gone home with someone else.

Lexa agreed and a couple hours later the blond was asleep next to her as Lexa overthought everything. She had to take Ravens advice, either grow up and admit her feelings, or accept that Clarke doesn’t feel the same and get over them so she can move on and be okay with Clarke being with someone else.

Clarke rolled over in her sleep and laid her head on Lexa’s shoulder. As soon as her heart rate sped up, she knew that was easier said than done. She somehow ignored the rapid heartbeat and fell asleep with the blond cuddled up in her arms.

…

“Please Clarke.” Lexa whined still cuddled up with the blond in her bed. Lexa was hit with another craving and was trying to convince Clarke to get out of bed and get it for her. “I’m too tired go.”

“Lexa I don’t even know where they sell soft pretzels around here.” The blond had woken up to her whining and even though she didn’t want to leave the bed she knew she would succumb to the older girls wishes.

“You can’t deny a pregnant woman.” She dropped her bottom lip and held the girl by her waist.

“You’re really using the pregnant card, again?” Clarke rolled her eyes and tried to roll away from the other girl, but Lexa held onto her tightly and forced her to face him. 

“You better get used to it, I still have seven more months before I can’t use it anymore. And then I have the new mom card to guilt you more.” She gave her a cheeky grin as Clarke let out a huff.

“I am going, only because you’re annoying and now you have me wanting some.” She opened up her phone and googled places where she could get the pretzels for Lexa.

“Good now get out of my bed lady and don’t come back without my food.” The girls laughed as Clarke threw on a pair of Lexa’s sweats and a hoodie of hers. “Yeah sure, go ahead and wear my clothes.” She said sarcastically.

“Thanks babe.” Clarke kissed her head and left her alone trapped in a world of her own thoughts about a certain blond and her feelings. 

…

“She made me drive forty minutes to get her these just to eat them with honey and parmesan cheese.” Clarke complained to Raven as they ate their food later that morning. Lexa was getting the stink eye from both women.

“Baby wants what the baby wants.” She shrugged her shoulders and went back to eating.

“You’re lucky I love the kid already.” Raven said and Lexa couldn’t help the blush. Which she didn’t even understand why but every time one of the girls said something positive about her kid her cheeks flushed, and she felt all gooey on the inside. “I still can’t believe out of everyone you were the first to get knocked up.” Raven said laughing, they had all gotten over the shock of her being pregnant and they had finally reached the point where it was okay for jokes to be made.

“I for sure thought it was going to be O.” Clarke admitted.

“Trust me when I say I was not planning on being the first at all either.”

“I can’t wait until we start buying things for the baby. There’s nothing cuter than the tiny little baby clothes.” Raven gushed, not letting on to Lexa that she had already set up carts full of things to spoil her niece or nephew when Lexa gave the go ahead.

She had told the girls that she wanted to wait until the second trimester until they got overly excited with her pregnancy and went overboard with preparing for it. As scary as it was and as much as she didn’t want it to happen, she had to be aware of the risks and wanted to wait until Becca gave her the all clear. Once she was there, she knew she would spoil the hell out of her kid.


	11. eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about this chapter :/

To say Lexa felt smothered would be an understatement.

It had been a couple weeks since she had told her friends about her being pregnant, she was at the eleven week mark and while her nausea was better with the medication her doctor had given her, it was the only thing that eased. All other symptoms were just as bad, and she had barely been sleeping even though she felt exhausted.

Ever since she had told the girls about her pregnancy, they hadn’t left her side, no matter what there was also one of them at the house or with her watching her and making sure she was okay. The only time she was away from one of them was in class, but she had most with Lincoln and even though he didn’t know, he knew something was up, so she didn’t really get a break then. As much as she loved the girls, they were becoming overbearing and Lexa could barely breath at home. So she found herself in the courtyard at college on Tuesday after class just not to be home. It was all going well until Ontari and her clique made their way to her.

“Lexa Woods.” She said with her fakest voice. They all stood to her side and as much as Lexa wanted to turn around and ignore them, she knew that wouldn’t happen. So, she turned around and faced them. “I had an interesting conversation with my boyfriend last night.” She gave her a pathetic smile as Lexa looked at her not knowing why she was talking with her about it.

“Congrats.” She said trying to get back to work. But Ontari put a hand on her shoulder stopping her.

“Well I think you’re the one who deserves the congratulations.” She gave her a coy smile and Lexa knew that she knew. “How dare you sleep with my boyfriend, you slut.” She said with clear anger in her voice.

“Isn’t she a dyke?” One of the girls asked mid laugh. Lexa stood up trying to leave the situation. She didn’t know Atom was with her, and he didn’t even try to bring her up.

“He never told me you were dating, I’m sorry but you can’t only blame me.” She tried to push past the girls but again Ontari stopped her.

“I asked you a question. How dare you sleep with my boyfriend. Slut.” Lexa rolled her eyes and instantly regretted it when a fist collided with the side of her head. It wasn’t a hard punch by miles, but it came as a shock and she already had a headache. Lexa pushed past the pain and shock and hooked the girl, almost knocking her straight to the floor.

“What the fuck.” A deep voice rang out before Lexa saw the hand reach in front of her and stop the punch she would have ducked. “Fuck off.” Lincoln told her pushing her hand away from his friends. They did just that, scared of the man in front of them. “Lex are you okay?” He asked the disorientated girl who was touching her bleeding temple.

“I’m fine.” She picked up her books and bag and tried to get away from everyone staring at her. But Lincoln grabbed her arm and forced her to look at him.

“What happened?” He asked with genuine concern.

“Lincoln fuck off, I’m fine.” She shrugged him off and left the stunned boy in the courtyard and she got into her car and let the tears flow. She let the emotions take over her a few until she composed herself and picked up her phone and clicked on Becca’s number.

 _“Hey Lexa, what’s up?”_ She asked with her usual cheery voice, Lexa let out a small sob and that quickly changed her tone of voice. _"Lex?”_ Becca was concerned about her as not only a patient and a friend, so it worried her to hear Lexa cry.

“I know you don’t work today, but can you please come to my place.” Lexa asked and Becca didn’t ask any other questions, just told her she would be there within fifteen minutes. She thanked her and hung up before driving straight home. She went inside and made herself a glass of water and sat on the couch waiting for Becca to show up. She couldn’t help but feel her phone blowing up in her pocket. She only looked at the important messages.

 **Lincoln:** I don’t know what happened out there and I get if you don’t want to talk to me about it but I called the girls don’t be mad

 **Octavia:** Just a heads up I’m going to kill Ontari. After that I’m killing you for yelling at Lincoln as long as you’re okay 

**Raven:** are you okay i’ll be home in fifteen then i’m taking you to the doctors

She didn’t bother replying. She knew that Clarke was in class and her phone would be off, which she was slightly grateful for. She knew how protective she was of her, and she would become even more overbearing which Lexa knew she couldn’t handle. There was a knock on the door and Lexa left her phone to let in the doctor.

“Oh my god, your face.” She said before she even got in the house, Lexa hadn’t looked at herself or cleaned the blood, so she understood why Becca was shocked. Lexa led her in and sat on the couch so she could examine her. “Was this a fight or a single punch?” The doctor asked as she looked over her face for other sores or impacts.

“Just the one. Turns out the guy I fucked had a girlfriend who wasn’t too happy to find out I was pregnant. It didn’t hurt that much but I felt the skin open and she hit my temple. Normally I wouldn’t care but I got scared about the baby.” Lexa explained as Becca cleaned the blood and disinfected the wound.

“I’m glad you called, you seem okay, but I’ll still check for concussion and make sure you and bub are okay.” Lexa let her do her thing, sitting back in her chair waiting for her friends to come home and worry sick over her. “How have you been going, it’s been a couple weeks since we’ve seen each other.”

“Apart from the sore boobs, constant tiredness, lack of sleep, moodiness, bloating, and hovering friends I’m doing great.” She tried not to be moody or sarcastic to the doctor, but she couldn’t help it, and Becca understood it, so she didn’t take it personally like her friends did.

“Well kid you only have a couple weeks until that passes and hopefully things will get easier, how’s your nausea going? Any weird cravings?” Becca asked stitching up the wound trying to make the mood lighter and not talk about the reasons she was seeing her today.

“I haven’t thrown up since you gave me the medication, which has been great and helped a lot. I still get nausea every now and then, but I can deal with it. I’ve been craving salty foods but nothing weird really, thank god. I don’t want to look back and think of eating some gross food.” Becca laughed and nodded her head. “But if you ask Clarke then the answer to that question is yes. She wasn’t too pleased with the burger and ice cream combo and she really wasn’t a fan of the soft pretzel I ate with honey and parmesan.” Becca laughed at the food items and how Lexa didn’t see too fazed by the weird combo. 

“No, the weirdest foods I’ve heard, but I will still agree to disagree with you on it about it not being bad.” Lexa let out a huff and rolled her eyes and the lack of trust. Just as they finished up the door burst open, Raven and Octavia ran in with a panicked look.

“Please don’t yell at her.” Becca said placing a hand on her leg as she put her tools back away in her bag. “I’m Becca Franko her obgyn, and Lexa called me after she was punched. Both her and baby are fine and there’s no sign of conscious.” She spoke to them and their faces returned to normal and they relaxed. “I’m just going to take her blood pressure and I’ll be out of here.” The two girls sat down on the other couch and just watched, not knowing what to say.

“I’m fine really. She punched like a little bitch, I think she was wearing a ring or something, that’s why she broke skin. Before you yell, I tried to walk away but her and her bitches surrounded me as I was sitting doing work. I’m sorry for yelling at Lincoln, but I was so overwhelmed.” Her emotions were rising again but she didn’t let them overtake her.

“He said you almost knock her to the ground.” Raven laughed and reached out a hand for a high five. “Even pregnant you’re such a badass.”

“Your blood pressure has risen which is normal, but I’ll test again when you come in for that twelve-week scan. But you Lexa Woods are healthy.” She said as she was packing up her machine. A few minutes later she left after being thanked by each girl. As she left Clarke ran into the apartment and straight into Lexa’s arm on the couch.

“Are you okay?” She asked with visible tears in her eyes and such panic on her face that Lexa had never seen. She placed her neck deep inside the crook of Lexa’s neck, needed to feel that she was okay. Octavia and raven took this as their que to go get food, Lexa made sure to request something salty and they agreed leaving the pair alone.

“Clarke, I’m okay. You just missed the doctor she said both me and the baby is okay.” She ran her hands through the blond hair knowing it helped calm her down. They sat there for a while taking in each other. Clarke had felt so sacred when Lincoln finally got through to her, she left her class early needing to make sure the brunette was okay.

“Promise.” Clarke finally said sitting up practically in her lap Lexa was sitting with her legs on the couch. Lexa promised her and didn’t break eye contact while doing so. Clarke let out a heavy breath and smiled softly at the girl. Lexa reached over and brushed the hair from her eyes, she felt her heartbeat shoot up as neither of them broke eye contact. Lexa tried to stop it, but she had one hand on her jaw and the other on the waist, she felt herself leaning in to kiss her. Clarke didn’t stop her, Lexa got closer and she could feel Clarkes breath on her lips.

“Honey I’m home.” Raven sang out as they came in the front door. Clarke jumped backwards out of Lexa’s lap and found herself on the other side of the couch.

‘ _Damn baby hormones.’_ She repeated as she tried to control her heartrate. She kept looking over to the blond for the remainder of the night, but she never looked over, she didn’t even speak to her unless Lexa spoke directly to her. This was exactly why she bottle up her feelings towards the blond. ‘ _Damn baby hormones.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again sorry :/  
> but hey at least it was 2 updates at once


	12. twelve

“Fucker.” Lexa cursed as she put down her phone the next morning as her and Raven ate their breakfast.

“What?” She asked looking up from her own phone.

“The dean called me in about the fight yesterday. He’s probably going to strip my scholarship.” Her voice was a mix between stressed, scared and angry all at once. Raven worried about her, knowing how hard she worked to get into the school, and it could so easily be taken from her.

“Can he even do that?” Raven asked her.

“Who knows, but Pike thinks he can do anything he wants so I guess I have to wait and see. You’d think he’d at least let me finish out the year considering there isn’t even two months left.” She didn’t understand why she was so worked up about the possibility of having the scholarship stripped from her. Considering she would be taking the next year off. She put it down to the fact it was being taken off her rather than her choosing it on her own account.

“Are you going to press charges?” The Latina asked her, Lexa looked at her and didn’t respond straight away. “Lex, she assaulted you, and you’re pregnant. And she knew that, that only makes it so much worse.”

“What’s the point, she’s rich and I’m not. It wont even make it out the station.” She shrugged her shoulders, to her there really no point in trying to take it further. She knew that Ontari would get a small slap on the wrist that she would pay her way out of.

“That’s not the point Lex.” Raven wanted her to fight and make people listen. But she knew how the justice system worked and that Lexa was ultimately right.

“I know Rae, and I would love for the world to be just and right, but it’s a pointless battle. And I have more important things to worry about.” She said with her hand on her stomach. She couldn’t explain it but the comfort she felt by placing a single hand on her tummy blew her away. She still wasn’t over the fact she was growing a life inside her.

“I have class in half an hour, I’ll walk with you to the deans.” Raven offered and Lexa thanked her, getting her stuff ready.

…

“Thank you both for joining me.” Charles Pike smiled at both girls as they sat across from him in his office. Lexa felt sick to her stomach as Ontari smiled at him with a sickly-sweet grin. “I’m here to get to the bottom of this fight that took place yesterday.”

“I want to apologise sir, I acted out of line yesterday and I shouldn’t have approached Lexa.” Ontari put on a voice that was almost the opposite of the one she had yesterday. Lexa had to force herself not to roll her eyes.

“Lexa, what do you have to say for yourself?” He questioned placing both hands on the desk in front of him.

“I was only defending myself, she punched me first.” She had to hold back the anger from her voice, and instead with barely any emotion.

“Ontari since you were the one to attack Lexa I have no choice but to suspend you for the week. Lexa I told you the other week you were on thin ice and I cant help but to follow through with that warning after this.” Pike warned and the sick feeling came straight back to her.

“That’s not fair, sir she punched me unprovoked. Why am I being punished.” As much as she wanted to stand and scream at the man, she stayed seated and clenched her jaw.

“This is a zero-tolerance school, violence in any form is unacceptable.” Pike spoke louder, trying to intimidate her.

“Zero tolerance, and yet I get verbally assaulted with slur terms thrown around at me. By the way I’m pregnant, she knew that and still threw a punch. Do you know what can happen to women when they experience trauma? She’s lucky that she throws a shit punch.” Lexa couldn’t help the anger that was rising in her. Pike looked as if his head was about to explode, as Ontari looked at her with anger and worry in her eyes.

“Is this true Ontari, you knew, and you punched her.” Lexa was shocked at the change of anger. She still knew that Pike was going to go through with her punishment, but at least Ontari might have something done. It was when Ontari broke eye contact with him, that he knew that Lexa was telling the truth. “I would appreciate it if you came back tomorrow afternoon with your parents please. You can leave my office.”

“Lexa I am sorry about what she did to you, and to have me attack you like that.” Lexa was confused and shocked at the change in his behaviour and how human he seemed in this moment. “My wife and I lost a child after a car accident where she suffered major head trauma.”

“I am so sorry for your loss.” She couldn’t help but put her hand on her belly to try and calm herself down.

“I understand that you only punched her because she did so first, but I also can’t ignore the fact that you hit her back. My hands are tied, and I can’t let you off with this.” Lexa knew she couldn’t get out of it and she would lose her scholarship. Her emotions almost took over and she nodded her head.

“Can I finish out the year?” She asked in a small voice.

“Yes, but I can’t promise you that your scholarship will be renewed next year.” She nodded at him and thanked him for his time before leaving with a heavy heart, she felt completely defeated.

 **Lexa:** hey Clarke i know things are weird and i know i did that, but i need you rn

She started her car and drove to the one place she knew she needed to be. Back to Jake who would talk things through with her and help her manage all the crazy in her life currently.

…

“Well kid you’re having one hell of a couple months aren’t you.” Jake laughed as she finished her story catching him up on everything that had happened in the last few weeks.

“Can you believe that in the last eleven weeks I hooked up with a guy, got pregnant, got fired because I didn’t go to work for three weeks, almost got kicked out of school, got punched in the face and then actually lost my scholarship. But hey at least I can finish out the year. All while dealing with hellish pregnancy symptoms.” She couldn’t help but let out a defeated laugh at how crazy her life had become. “And I still have six more months and then deal with a newborn.” She huffed and Jake laughed sympathetically.

“But you’ve handled it so well, and if it’s any indication you are going to be one hell of a mom.” He complimented her and she got up to hug him and again thank him for everything he’d done for her. “Now I know you don’t want to, but we need to talk money.” He said and the dread snuck into her veins, she never wanted to use Jake for him money.

“Jake, I didn’t come here for your money.” She tried to turn the conversation around.

“I know Lex, but please just hear me out.” He said and she agreed sitting down before he continued. “You know that Abby left Clarke and I when Clarke was in middle school, you were the one person to help her through it. Abby tried to take everything we had and leave us with nothing. After I won the settlement, I started up two accounts one for Clarke and one for you and put an equal amount on money in there to give to both of you some day. So, no matter what she could never touch that money. And no matter what happened to me you had something to fall back on and start your own life.

“I know biologically you are not my daughter, but through chance and love you are. Ever since Clarke brought you over that one day and then the next and every day after that. When I learnt that you snuck into this house when those men would hit you, I knew that I had to do whatever I had to, to love and protect you.

“I always wanted another kid and I got that in you. And I know how hard you have worked for everything and I am so angry at that man who is taking it all away from you. I know that you have something more important than a degree right now. So, I am giving you the money I would have given you three years ago to look after your baby.” Lexa couldn’t help the tears that fell down her face, just as Jake couldn’t help his.

“I was twelve and you put money away for me for college, why would you do that?” Lexa asked shocked at his actions. Never had someone cared that much about her.

“You met Clarke when she was six and you were still best friends six years later. Friendships like that don’t happen every day. Not ones that survived what you went through, you and Clarke never had a single fight until you got older and woman hood took control. But I knew that the pair of you would be together in some way until the day you died. You are my daughter too Lexa, at twelve you were too, that’s why I did what I did.” He admitted they both knew that their relationship was special, but it was nice to talk about it out loud and reminisce.

“Jake, how much are we talking?” She asked not knowing how much he was about to hand over.

“It started at a hundred grand, but with the fortnightly deposits and interest it is currently at almost two hundred.” Lexa couldn’t help but let her jaw drop at the confession. She knew that Jake griffin had a lot of money the five-bedroom house they were sitting in proved that, she knew that they were far past comfortable. But had no idea he had the funds to put away a hundred grand and fortnightly deposits on top of that. He was a famous architect turned real estate agent and she had seen the building he’d designed just never realised the money behind them.

“Jake, I can’t.” Lexa let the tear fall from her face.

“Please I am not asking, this is my grandchild we are talking about. I may have designed half the towers in this town, but this is my legacy. I am no fool and know that someone earning minimum wage can’t afford a home in this climate. So, use the money to do that and never touch it again. Leave it for the baby, but please use it for them, for my grandchild.” Jake gave her the dopey smile that Clarke usually gave her, and she couldn’t help but cave on his request.

“Only if you help me find the house. Needs to have four bedrooms, Raven and Clarke have offered to live with me and I think I will need all the support I can get.” He was the one to wrap her in a hug this time on her acceptance.

The pair spent the rest of the night looking through house listings and talking about Jakes jobs and personal life of both, even though neither had a very extensive one. She felt good after talking with him and knew it was the right decision to talk to him.

She had been periodically checking her phone through the night and was getting quite annoyed at the blond who hadn’t even responded to Lexa’s text asking for help. But she blew it off trying not to over think it and would try them again the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just wanted to ask how long i should drag out her pregnancy for, i dont want to feel it dragging along super slow but then i also dont want to skip big parts. atm when i have done a time jump its around 3 weeks. i dont know how many chpaters this book will have either


	13. thirteen

Clarke hadn’t said a word to Lexa in over a week, since their almost kiss. Not that Lexa hadn’t reached out, she had almost every day, but this time Clarke was the one shutting her out. Just as she had when they were kids. Lexa was beyond angry and confused at what was happening, and just like always lately the pregnancy hormones weren’t helping. So, when she walked into her apartment Thursday night after spending the morning with Jake looking for houses and the afternoon looking for a job, she was exhausted. She was surprised to hear the blonds voice coming from the lounge as she entered her apartment. 

She didn’t even bother saying hi to anyone, Lexa went straight to her room to change out of the clothes and into sweats. When she came back out it for a glass of water. She again didn’t say anything to anyone. As she stood at the sink taking a sip she was overcome with pain in her chest. She groaned out in pain and dropped the glass she was holding and let it smash on the floor. The apartment grew silent and there were hurried footsteps to the kitchen.

“Are you okay?” Raven asked as she saw her best friend hunched over holding her chest. “Shit there’s glass and you’re not wearing shoes, don’t move.” Raven said as she ran to get the broom to clean up the mess while Lexa focused on her breathing to overcome the heart burn, she had been experiencing lately.

“Babe, are you okay?” Clarke asked as she touched the girl’s shoulder, Lexa quickly brushed her off, not in the mood to deal with her. “Lex.” She tried again.

“I’m fine Clarke it’s just heartburn, I’m pregnant, or did you forget that while you were busy ignoring me.” Lexa snapped at her, wanting to just escape to her room but couldn’t because of the littered glass Raven was cleaning.

“Of course I didn’t forget.” She said with a sad hum in her voice. “What’s wrong?” She asked again as Lexa started massaging her chest to try and ease the pain.

“What’s wrong with you?” Lexa turned it on her, and the blond looked shocked at the change of pace. “A week you have ignored me, and it’s not like I shut you out. I have texted you every day asking what I did wrong. Why you out of everyone abandoned me when I needed you most. I basically got kicked out of school and you couldn’t even text me back.” She was yelling now, and she didn’t care about Clarkes heart feeling. She needed to get it out or it would have gotten worse. The yelling didn’t help her heartburn at all, but she pushed past it to say what she needed to.

“I know and I’m sorry.” She tried to reach out again, but Lexa pulled away.

“I don’t think you are Clarke. These past eleven weeks have been crazy, and you were the one thing I needed.” Lexa left her vulnerabilities out in the open. “I get what I tried was stupid, but I didn’t expect this reaction.” She spat at her talking about the almost kiss.

“You tried to kiss me.” She said in a hushed voice.

“I don’t get why it’s such a big deal. We’ve kissed before.” She stared Clarke down waiting for her to say something, but nothing came. “Oh, I know, it’s because I tried to kiss you and it wasn’t you playing on my emotions.” She didn’t expect to say it, but it came out and now that it was in the open, they would finally be forced to talk about.

“What is that supposed to mean.” Clarke yelled at her.

“That ever since high school, every kiss, every cuddle is based on you and how you feel. But god forbid that I want to express my feelings.” Clarke again stayed quiet. “I am a rebound for you, I have been since freshman year. I told you I had feelings and the next day you started dating the kid from a math class. When he dumped you a few weeks later, you came to me crying and you kissed me. That was the first time. But every time you date someone, I’m second best to them. And when things end suddenly were best friends again. I am rebound for, maybe not sexually, but emotionally. You have fucked with my heart since we were fifteen.” Lexa was heated and Raven was long gone so they were in middle of a screaming match. One where Lexa wasn’t holding back and could finally get everything out.

“If I am so horrible to you why still be my friend?” She asked with tears leaking from her eyes.

“Because I love you, I’m in love with you. And I would rather you walk all over me than walk away. But I can’t do this anymore Clarke, I love you more than anything and anyone but it so hard being that person for you. I either need to get over my feelings for you so we can be friends, or you work out yours and we can try something here.” When Clarke’s face fell and looked confused all at once she knew she had once chance to get through to her.

“Have you ever wondered why I am the only friend you kiss, or the first one you’ll share a bed with, the one you go to about anything. The only one who dating someone else makes you jump into a relationship. Why after you break up with someone you come straight to me. Am I a security blanket for you, or something else? I need to know. I’m done with downplaying the way I feel so you don’t feel uncomfortable. So, deal with and do what you need to, or I’m done, I have more things to worry about than making sure you’re not mad because we almost kissed.” Lexa didn’t even let her say anything else before going to her room and slamming her door, leaving the blond alone.

She packed up her things and went home with a lot to think about. She had never thought about it before, feelings for Lexa. She knew that the girl once liked her, but she had no idea that they were still there. Clarke loved Lexa more than anyone else and always had, but she had never thought of them as more. Sure, they kissed and cuddled, but a lot of girls did. So, were they more than friends, could she actually have real feelings for the girl?

“What’s up blondie you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Octavia joked as she walked into their apartment.

“Finally, the yelling stopped, I can go home.” Raven cheered, even though she knew she shouldn’t have, she knew what their fight was about. That’s why she chose to leave, not wanting to impose even if she wanted to hear what happened. “I’m joking, sit talk to us.” She led Clarke over to the couch. She looked shocked and deep in thought.

“Lexa is in love with me.” She said finally and Octavia had to pinch Raven, so she didn’t laugh at the statement. “And you guys already knew that.” Clarke sat and explained the fight they had just had.

“That girl isn’t exactly subtle.” Raven shrugged her shoulders with a cheeky grin. “Look Griff, Lex has had feelings for you since the ninth grade and she had hidden that for years for the sake of your friendship. But now Lexa is going through a massive change in her life, and she has to focus on her and only her. She has six months until she’s a mom and that is going to change her in ways, we can’t even predict yet.

“So, I’m not surprised that she has brought this up. She has watched you with other people all these years and pushed her own feelings aside every time you leaned on her and cried about an ex. She never let her emotions take over and now these hormones are causing her to bring everything up.” Raven stood up for her best friend, Clarke didn’t seem to be giving her the credit that she deserved at the moment. “I’m going home to check on her. This stops now. Lexa is our best friend Clarke I will not let you keep walking over her, especially not now. I know how much she means to you, which is how I know you will make the right choice and work out where the two of you stand. Go see your dad Clarke he will be more helpful than you know.” With that she left to go and make sure Lexa was okay.

When she got home the girl was asleep, but Raven went in her room anyway and sat on the bed. She slowly woke her up.

“Hey.” She smiled at the sleepy girl. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. I’m glad you spoke up.” She earnt a smile from Lexa.

“Thanks, was she okay?” Lexa asked, despite the fight Clarke was her best friend and hated the thought of being the one to hurt her.

“Yeah she’ll live and come to her senses.” She said and Lexa let out a little chuckle. “I know you have your big scan in a couple days, and I was wondering if I could come?” Raven asked she knew that she wasn’t as close to Lexa as Clarke was, but they were still best friends and didn’t want her to go alone. She knew that her and Clarke weren’t going to talk before then and even though the blond had promised to be there Lexa knew what she was like when she was mad. She needed someone there with her and she would gladly take raven with her.

“Really?” Lexa asked, her bright green eyes lighting up in the dark causing Raven to smile.

“Of course.” With that Raven left her to get her sleep.


	14. fourteen

“Clarke Griffin that girl is too good for you.” Jake shook his head as they spoke over coffee the next day. Clarke had just finished spilling her heart to her dad about everything that Lexa had yelled at her for.

“You knew she liked me all this time, didn’t you?” She almost felt offended at her father knowing how the green-eyed girl had felt about her all these years and he hadn’t said anything.

“I wouldn’t say ‘like’ that girl has loved you for a long time Clarke. A lot of people could see it I don’t know how it’s taken so long for you to see that what you two have is more than friendship.” He spoke sternly to his daughter not in a way to punish her, but to make her listen. “Clarke there is a reason that you call Raven and Octavia your sisters and Lexa has always had the title of best friend.” He tried to joke but she rolled her eyes at him.

“Sure, I can admit that things have always felt different with her and that I have always felt different with her. I have loved her for as long I can remember but it was always as a best friend and I thought it was the same with her.” Clarke felt dumb that she was crying to her father about the way she felt about a girl. She always knew there was something about Lexa, but she never wanted to think about the possibility of anything else, or the possibility of losing what they had to a failed relationship.

...

_“Lex, oh my god this kid from math class left a note in my locker.” Clarke and Lexa had just started high school, it was all that was expected. Long days at the bottom of the food chain again, stacks of homework, sports try out, and boys, so many boys that were all over her best friend who had grown into her body over the summer break._

_To Lexa she was the same beautiful Clarke she had always been. The same kind best friend who had been there at all her lowest moments. But she couldn’t deny that the summer hadn’t treated her right, her skin was glowing, and her hair was shiny, she was taller, but Lexa still stood taller than her. But the thing most people noticed, especially the boys were her newly found assets._

_“This is so corny Clarke you can’t seriously be interested in a guy that writes ‘your hand looks heavy let me hold it for you on our date Friday night?’ Come on Clarke.” Lexa teased her but was also filled with jealousy at the way the blond blushed at the handwritten note._

_“He’s cute though.” Clarke said in a dazed like state that only further annoyed Lexa._

_“You know that I’m gay and not into guys, and if I was, he would not be a top contender.” Lexa poked fun at her and playfully pushed her shoulder away. It was no secret to Clarke or anyone at school that Lexa was gay, she was outed in middle school and lived with the cruel tormenting ever since._

_“If he’s not up to your standard then who is?” She asked and an instant blood flushed to Lexa’s cheek. She couldn’t tell the blond that she wished she was hers, and potentially ruin the friendship when her feelings came out. Clarke had begun to question her sexuality, but Lexa knew that it would be a while until she would be comfortable publicly dating a girl. But it didn’t stop the feelings Lexa had towards her. “What? You totally just zoned out on me.” Clarke brought her back to reality, Lexa found herself blushing again and shying away from her eye contact._

_“It’s nothing.” Lexa tried to push the thoughts away but the concern on the blonds face made it hard._

_“Any girls leaving you cute letters in your locker.” Clarke asked trying to change the subject but failing to make her feel any better. “You do like someone don’t you?” Clarke cheered when she saw the look in Lexa’s eye. The blond could always read her so well that she couldn’t never hide anything._

_“It’s no one.” She tried to again push the conversation away but it not working. Clarke kept at it for a few more minutes, going through a list of potential girls she could like until she had mentioned everyone they knew. “Stop Clarke it doesn’t matter, it’s just a crush it’ll pass soon.” She said wishing it to come true, but if only she knew that six years later, she was still harbouring feelings._

_“Come on what’s the harm in telling your best friend.” She wasn’t sure if it was frustration or the fact she wanted the blond to know it was her Lexa felt her heart rate increase by miles and the look of panic on Lexa’s face finally clicked in Clarke’s head. “It’s me isn’t it?” She questioned and her voice changed. Lexa knew it as one she used when she pitied someone. It was no surprise that Clarke didn’t feel the same, but there was something inside her that was holding onto hope._

_“I don’t want to make things weird.” Lexa said not even looking up from her hands sitting in her lap._

_“It won’t, I promised.” Clarke went to pull her best friend into a hug, but the other girl jumped up and off the bed._

_“I should go.” Lexa said not giving Clarke the chance to reply before she ran out the door._

_..._

“Clarke, I think there’s something in you that has always know what you feel about Lexa. But you were scared all those years ago and you pushed them all away. You never gave yourself the chance to look back on them, so six years went by and you thought your feelings and actions are normal. When we both know that you don’t feel what you do for Lexa towards anyone else.

“I understand why she let you believe that you were both just friends because she didn’t want that rejection from you again. I also understand that you didn’t understand you were hurting her, and she didn’t speak out about it and let you think it was normal. But as Raven said it has all come to a boiling point, she’s going through a transition to motherhood. Which is going to be her whole world for the rest of her life and this is the one time she is forced to take care of her needs before she brings a new life into the world and she is forced to put them before herself for the rest of her life. She also has a whole bunch of hormones racing through her body and for once she can’t push her emotions down, she’s being forced to feel them.

“So, Clarke it’s time to either take the leap and explore the feelings we both know you have, or you live where she places you in her world. What you two have is so special and you will never find it again. So, if things change you have to be okay with what happens and where it leaves the two of you.” Her dad really opened her eyes. He was right, Lexa was right, she was being selfish. For years she had, had Lexa as a friend and took advantage of that to find comfort in the older girl when she was sad or needed a love, she couldn’t find in each other.

It made her feel good, but every time it was tearing Lexa down. Clarke was so scared to be with Lexa and to think of her that way when they were young that she didn’t allow herself the chance. She never had, six years on and she was still pretending. Pretending that she was okay whenever Lexa started seeing or dating someone. Pretending that she was okay when she dated someone that wasn’t Lexa. Neither of them ever had been in a serious long-term relationship and Clarke put it down to them being young and having fun. But it was truly down to them both knowing subconsciously that they only wanted each other but thinking it would never happen.

This was Clarke’s chance to make it all okay again, she just had to let Lexa come back to her so she could prove that she was worth her love.


	15. fifteen

“Can you stop.” Lexa said holding down Ravens leg as they were sitting in the waiting room. “Anyone would think you were the pregnant one.” Lexa laughed at the anxious look on Ravens face. She was really grateful for the girl who offered to come so Lexa wouldn’t be alone.

“Maybe I am pregnant.” She shot back with a raised eyebrow.

“Always gotta one up me huh.” Lexa poked her in the side causing her try and squirm away, but when her name was called, they both stopped and followed the nurse to the room.

“Morning ladies.” Becca greeted them as they came in wearing the same anxious smiles. “How exciting we get to see a baby today.” She exclaimed. “First I just have to take some blood and then we can do the ultrasound.” She explained to Lexa who agreed and followed her to the sink area as she had the first time.

“What’s the blood test for?” Raven asked as she watched the doctor set up the test.

“It tests for possible chromosomal abnormalities, just so we know what to look out for with the health of the baby and the rest of her pregnancy.” She explained with ease as she took the blood not even looking up at either girl while talking. “Now Lexa, I’ll be back with the machine just give me a couple minutes.” The girl nodded and let her go do what she needed. She went back and sat by Raven, as she did her phone started ringing and the called id read Clarke.

“Hello.” Lexa answered not sure why the blond was calling, especially after the other night. It had been two days since their fight and they hadn’t spoken to each other. Lexa was hurt by the fact the blond hadn’t reached out about the scan she promised to be at and when she hadn’t shown up by the time she was called in she gave up hope for her keeping that promise. She was glad Raven had come with her, not knowing if she could handle it herself.

 _“Hey Lex, I’m so sorry but I didn’t set my alarm last night. I know I promised you I’d come, I can leave home now and meet you there.”_ Her voice was filled with sorrow and regret at not being there for Lexa. She should have known that even with their fight the blond wouldn’t have broken her promise to be there.

“It’s fine Clarke, Raven came with me. I wasn’t sure if you still wanted to come.” She spoke with an equally heavy voice.

 _“Oh okay, um yeah that’s good she went with you. I’m sorry about the other night can we talk later?”_ Clarke asked trying not to break down at the sort of rejection.

“Clarke, I think it’s best if we take a little time for ourselves. I know I yelled at you for ignoring me, but I need a little time to get my head on straight. And I really want you to think about what I said, we need this Clarke.” Lexa also had to fight the tears, she never wanted to lose the blond, but they really had to sort out their feelings. Lexa almost didn’t notice when Becca walked back in but smiled as she sat at her desk. “Clarke, I have to go, I love you but please give me some time.”

 _“Yeah sure whatever you need, but please know that I love you and if you need anything, don’t hesitate to call.”_ She couldn’t help let a few tears fall.

“Clarke please just think about what you need and want from me.” With that they said their goodbyes and Lexa gave her full attention to her doctor as she wiped away a few escaped tears. “Sorry about that.” She smiled and fanned her face suddenly feeling really hot.

“No worries, okay so I’ll just get you on that bed over there.” Becca instructed and Lexa laid down on the gurney. Raven pulled up a chair by her side, and in traditional couple fashion she took a hold of the girl’s hand. “Now we did do a quick ultrasound before but didn’t get much from that, but definitely should this time. Just roll up your shirt and we’ll get started.” Lexa did as she was told and even though to anyone you couldn’t tell she was pregnant by looking at her the small bump was obvious to Lexa.

“Let me guess it’s going to be cold.” Raven fired as she pulled out the gel, which caused the doctor to laugh and Lexa to roll her eyes.

“Yes, it will be cold.” She wasn’t wrong, Lexa jumped as the gel touched her exposed stomach and she tensed until she got used to it being rolled around the rest of her skin.

Becca turned on the screen and neither girl knew what they were looking at until she moved around her stomach a little more and the imagine focused on the screen. The grainy black and white image of Lexa’s baby. That really didn’t seem like a baby apart from the clear distinction of the head and belly, but it was a baby, her baby. There was a huge crash of emotions that fluttered over Lexa, she had never so much all at once and couldn’t help but sob at the picture. Becca turned the screen closer to them and Lexa put her finger in the screen.

“I can’t believe that’s him.” Lexa said tears leaking out her eyes, she didn’t even pick up on the gender she had said and neither of the women said anything, they both just let her have her moment. “Rae that’s a baby, that’s my baby.” She didn’t break eye contact with the screen, but the squeeze of her hand assured her.

“I don’t want to alarm you, but they are a little small, which is completely fine and explains why you’re hardly showing, again which is fine. They’ll grow within the next couple weeks, what we see with small babies at this point is they may have a rapid growth. So instead of you slowly growing, you could potentially be this small for a few weeks and then wake up and you’re showing. Which is healthy and normal, it can just be a little shocking to you and others.” She let Lexa take in the information and made sure she knew it was normal before going on. “Do you want to hear the heartbeat?” She asked and again Lexa’s eyes light up.

“Please.” She almost begged. Raven sat quietly amazed at her best friend carrying a baby she was watching through a screen and about to hear its heartbeat for the first time.

Becca hit a switch and the sound filled the room. The strong, steady, rhythmic beat of a heart. It all hit the new mom again knowing that her baby was okay, and she was doing things right so far.

“That is the doppest thing I have ever heard.” Raven pitched in with glassy eyes. She couldn’t believe the rush of emotions that hit her, and it wasn’t even her kid. She knew in the exact moment that she would love and protect this baby with her whole being. She couldn’t wait to meet them.

“I can print copies of the photos, how many were you after?” Becca asked, normally she would just print a couple, but knowing this group she would get one for all of them.

“Five please.” Lexa asked with the same dopey smiled on her face.

“So now that you’re about to hit trimester two, a lot of the struggles you’ve been having should settle down, but they can also persist after so you just have to watch out for them and take it easy. It also the time where the most changes to your body will happen. You will put on weight and as you know your stomach will get bigger. Your breasts will increase in size and get heavy. So just take care of yourself, eat good, sleep well and keep up with your prenatal vitamins.” Becca instructed and Lexa agreed not one to put her baby in harm’s way. The two girls thanked the doctor and went back to their car on cloud nine.

“I’m hungry, call the girls to get brunch.” Lexa said, she needed to share this with her girls, even if things were weird between her and Clarke.

“Both of them?” Raven asked not wanting to do the wrong thing.

“Yes, I know I said I wanted space, and that can start tomorrow. Right now, I need to show off my baby.” She said with a grin on her face staring down at the pictures in her hands.


	16. sixteen

**Clarke:** I would rather have you scream at me than the silent treatment. It’s been five days since we got brunch and I saw you the happiest you’ve ever been. Then we turned around and stopped talking. I know I fucked up and treated you wrong and I know it’s a shitty thing to say but I didn’t realise what I was doing and how it would have made you feel. You are going through one of the most exciting things and I want to be there for you. I need to face my fears and feelings and we need to talk. Please let me fix this, fix us

Lexa opened her chat with Clarke that had remained idle for days. Lexa hated not being able to run to Clarke and talk to her, but she was also proud of herself that she chose to put herself first. But Clarke was right, and it had gone on for too long and nothing was ever going to get sorted if they kept ignoring each other. She was pulled from her thoughts when another text came through.

 **Clarke:** I’ll even buy you a burger and ice cream

Lexa smiled at the text remembering back to the really only crazy food combination she had. She had noticed that she had strong cravings for salty foods but other than that she ate like normal but became very aware to what she was putting in her body. always making sure to eat a balanced diet.

 **Lexa:** throw in fries and you have a deal pick me up at 6

 **Clarke:** I have to drive and pay high standards woman

Lexa chuckled at the text and was glad that even in a tense situation they could find the humour in each other. It gave her hope for how the rest of the night would go.

…

“I still find it gross.” Clarke teased as they ate their dinner, Lexa still staying with her burger ice cream creation, they chose to sit and eat outside at the local park. It was a nice night and they didn’t want the pressure of everyone else around them.

“I’m going to be so glad when I’m over the morning sickness and don’t have to take a pill for it every day. I will never be okay with that part.” She felt sick just remembering back to the weeks she spent with her head in the toilet bowl. When they finished eating, they felt things get serious and they knew it was time to confront it all.

“So, I listened to what you said, and I talked to my dad. Raven also put me on blast about a lot of things and Octavia talked me through a lot. And I just want to start by saying sorry, I know it’s not fair and it’s not an excuse but I truly never realised the way I treated you and the way it affected you. My dad basically put a lot in perspective, and I hate that it took you yelling at me and then explaining it for me to open my eyes. But I am glad you did.

“We met when we were six, you were the new girl at school, and didn’t have any friends in the class. From day one I knew that we would not only grow up together but grow old together but at that age I didn’t know in what way. You and my dad were the only ones to support my art and the only ones to support me when I said I wanted it as a career, and when I got my scholarship you knew it would happen from the start. When my mom left you let me rant to you daily and cry to you despite what was going on with you. And when you finally let me in, I never saw you as weak, something you felt you were. We both gave each other an escape you from my mom and me from those abusive assholes.

“In middle school we were still as close as ever and I remember you fighting to go to the same school I did. So, we would be together and not lose touch. We met the other girls that year and yet we were still the closest, and everyone knew that we were inseparable. When you questioned your sexuality and faced the bullies at school, I never saw you any different and it never changed us, until I let it. I struggled with my sexuality after seeing what happened to you and you helped me through it and defended my honour when I came out in high school.

“I still remember the day I forced you telling me you liked me, we were in my room after school on a Friday and we were talking about a boy that had written me a note in math that day. I didn’t care that you felt that way, but I didn’t feel the same. Or I thought I didn’t, more like I didn’t want to admit it. Because accepting my sexuality was one thing, but dating a girl was another. It was never the fact it was you in high school, it was I was too scared to let myself feel it. Because finding girls attractive was one thing but being in a relationship out in the open was so scary to me. So, I went and dated that boy from math.

“It was never to hurt you, but that’s exactly what happened. So, when a few weeks later you started dating Costia and I finally understood how you felt seeing me with that boy. I broke up with him because I didn’t want you to hurt like that. And you stayed with Costia, which was fine, she was good for you. When you broke up a few months later we got close again, and I wanted to experiment, and I know I forced that on you.

“I know it was a shitty thing to do. But you never told me otherwise, and I’m not blaming any of this on you. But if you had I would have stopped. Again not your fault but I saw no harm in messing around, we were both single, and to me you moved on you had a few other girlfriends and flings in high school and we never spoke about our feelings. So, I let all the pain and jealousy bottle up while you were with some girl and when we were both single, I let myself feel it. And saying that out loud makes me feel so dumb because it’s so clear to me now.” Clarke stopped, finally letting herself breath and look into the green eyes. Which were tear stained like hers.

“What’s clear?” Lexa asked needing to know what the blond stood with them.

“That I have loved you since we were kids and I used others to try and push away the feelings I had for you because I didn’t want to lose you.” Lexa left her spot on the picnic table and went to her side, she sat with her legs either side of the wood. Clarke turned to her and did the same. They both stared at each other, not knowing how to express what they felt.

Clarke leaned forward and smiled as Lexa met her in the middle. One of her hands held Lexa’s jaw and the other rested lightly on her waist. Clarke took the final step and connected their lips. Just as there had been years ago they both felt the fireworks explode as the rest of the world disappeared. Their tongues met and Clarke easily won the fight for dominance, but Lexa put up no real fight. She was just trying to keep her brain from melting at the craziness going through their bodies. Clarke pulled away and rested her head on Lexa’s shoulder as she fought to catch her breath. When she finally looked up, she saw the strange look on Lexa’s face, it was a mix between concentration and daze.

“What?” Clarke asked rubbing her cheek with her thumb. 

“I don’t want to ruin this moment.” Her voice was low, and she was shying away from the blonds eyes, instead focusing on her lips. Lexa tried her hardest to stand still and not look like a fool. Of course her kid was about to ruin the moment after Clarke had spoken the words Lexa waited six years for. But the baby was really pushing in her bladder.

“What is it?” Clarke asked with a concern in her voice that Lexa found adorable.

“I really have to pee.” She admitted letting out a faint smile and Clarke tipped her head back and let out a real belly laugh and took a hold of Lexa’s hand which increased her smile. Without much said they packed up their food and made their way back to the food chain where the car was parked across the road so Lexa could use their bathroom. When they didn’t let her, she used the pregnant card and they let her through.

While she was in the bathroom, she let herself breathe for the first time since Clarke spilled out her feelings in the park. In the moment she had been filled with love and admiration that she was finally admitting to herself what Lexa had years ago, and she really seemed to want them a go. Which was all Lexa really wanted. But now as she stood by the sink her heart rate was still rapid and her breathing uneven. Lexa was frustrated and she knew that they only way she would calm down was with the help of a certain blond. For the past few days her sex drive had dramatically increased and the kiss with Clarke had intensified that more that she knew how to deal with. Once she was done and Clarke was waiting in the car, she called Raven needing her best friend’s advice.

 _“So, is this a help me hide the body call?”_ Raven called when she picked up and if Lexa wasn’t so frustrated, she would have laughed.

“I need advice.” She asked.

 _“Yes.”_ She said waiting on the problem.

“So Clarke finally got her shit together and admitted she actually had feelings for me.” She said not really knowing how to say what she wanted.

_“Lex, babe, I don’t see the problem here?”_

“Is it too soon to take her home for the night?” She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the loud obnoxious laugh Raven let ring through the phone. “Don’t laugh this pregnancy is killing me, I’ve never been so horny in my life.” Lexa said straight up and ignoring another loud laugh.

_“Awe poor Clarkey only a pawn in your game.”_

“You know it’s not like that.” Lexa tried to defend her actions.

_“No, I’m all for it give it back to her like she has all those years. I say go for it, she’s been single for a few months probably needs it as bad as you do.”_

“Okay well I’m coming home now, and I’ll invite her for the night and see what happens. So, scram kid, unless you want to hear it.” Lexa teased.

 _“Have fun Lexi. At least you can’t her pregnant.”_ Raven teased her back.

“Are you doubting my skills Reyes?” That’s all it took for Raven to hang up the phone and leave the apartment for Octavia’s.


	17. seventeen

“Come up?” Lexa asked as Clarke pulled up to her apartment, she instantly agreed and went inside with Lexa.

“Where’s Rae?” Clarke asked finding it weird the other girl wasn’t around.

“She’s spending the night at yours.” Lexa said as she poured herself and Clarke a drink. “So I was thinking we could watch a movie or something in mine?” Lexa offered not sure how to approach your long-term best friend about having sex not even an hour after she finally came to terms about having feelings.

“Lex, you’re looking at me like you look at the girls from the club.” Clarke pointed out as she pushed the brunette against the countertop. Lexa felt her heart rate increase by a hundred miles and couldn’t stifle the small moan caused by having Clarke pushed against her. “Oh, you want me like one of those girls.” Clarke said her voice becoming even more raspy than it usually was.

“Is it too much for you?” Lexa asked not wanting to cross any lines.

“Nope.” Clarke whispered into her ear, only further turning her on even more. “Are you okay with this?” Clarke asked.

“I have waited six years for this. I’m all yours.” She knew it wasn’t only the hormones speaking but she knew in any situation where Clarke had her like this the blond could do what she pleased. Clarke helped lift her to sit on top of the bench and their lips instantly connected in a mess of tongue and moans. The kiss at the park had been passionate and sweet, but this was filled with desire and want.

Clarke moved her kisses to the base of her jaw and Lexa would be lying if she said she didn’t whine at the lack of contact. But what feeling was quickly overcome when Clarke connected her lips to a pulse point on her neck and she felt herself melt into a puddle. Panic quickly flooded through her body when she felt Clarke’s wondering hands got close to her boobs. She pulled herself away from the blond and Clarke looked up in worry.

“They hurt too much.” She said simply and moved Clarke’s hands down too her butt where she didn’t mind being touch. Lexa quickly attached their lips again and kissed away the worry until they got back to the same rhythm they were at before.

Lexa felt herself being lifted off the bench and knew that Clarke was carrying her to her room. She took the chance and connected her lips to Clarkes neck and kissed as she made her way into the brunette’s room.

…

“Next time I wait six years for that, punch me.” Clarke said as she collapsed down on the bed next to Lexa who was struggling to stay awake. She hadn’t felt this satisfied in months, on the come down on one of the best orgasms she had ever had, with the blond in arms reach she knew that this was what she was missing all these years. She felt whole for the first time in a long time. Lexa looked at Clarke trying to fight the sleep threatening to take over her body. She rolled over so she was on her side using her arm to hold up her head. She bent down and connected their lips not even letting Clarke speak.

“Let me make you breakfast tomorrow.” The blond replied her lips brushing against Lexa’s.

“Deal.” She said simply and finally let herself rest. She dropped her head onto the blond’s chest and cuddled up as close as she could, wrapping her leg over one of Clarkes.

They had shared a bed countless times. But this time was different, it wasn’t just an innocent cuddling session, they had not only confessed feelings but had also spent a few hours exploring each other’s bodies in ways they hadn’t done before. Sure they had cuddled, but it was usually Lexa holding Clarke and not the other was around. But neither of them minded the change. Lexa loved the feeling of Clarke brushing through her hair and the comforting rise and fall of her chest.

…

When Lexa woke up alone in her bed the next morning, she thought it had all been some kind of dream. But she rolled over and laid on a pillow that smelt like Clarke she knew that it had all really happened. She heard noises coming from the kitchen and the smell of bacon cooking, she realised just how hungry she was. Lexa pulled herself out of bed and threw on a pair of boxers and a shirt which turned out to be the one the blond wore the previous night.

Lexa didn’t mean to sneak up on her but when she wrapped her arms around her waist the blond jumped.

“Good morning.” Lexa said breathing in a sigh of relief and burying her head into the crook of her neck which was exposed as she had her hair pulled into a bun. As Lexa had done with her Clarke was wearing on of Lexa’s shirts and a pair of her boxers. The brunette couldn’t help but smile at the intimacy and how domestic it felt at the moment. This was how she wanted to spend the rest of her life, holding on to the blond.

“I made you bacon and toast, I was about to add eggs to the mix but seeing how that went last time I decided not to.” Clarke turned around in the taller girls’ arms, so they were looking at each other. Lexa thanked her with a kiss and pulled her down to sit at the table which was set. “Sleepy?” She questioned as Lexa sat quietly eating her food with one hand and the other holding up her head as her eyes dropped heavily.

“You tired me out last night.” She said with a wink and a grin, not regretting it at all.

“We should talk about it.” Clarke took a sip of the orange juice as Lexa’s head flew up from her plate and stared at the blond. She instantly thought the blond was going to say last night was too much or they shouldn’t have done it so quickly. “I know the logical thing would be to take this relationship slow and go day to day. But we know everything there is to know about each other. We also don’t really know how to take things slow, I think last night proved it. So I’m all in if you are.” Neither woman could stop the grins on their face and the bliss they both felt at the confession.

“We both know that you are always one to put yourself before anyone else, which is something I’ve always admired about you. But Raven pointed out the other day that you are going through such big life changes and you’re going to start having to put your needs and want before others. So, I’m in this for the long run, me and you. I’ll want to help you through this pregnancy, and I want to help you with the baby after.” Lexa couldn’t help but let the tears fall as Clarke went on her love filled rant. Without her saying anything in response she leaned across the table and kissed Clarkes lips.

“I love you so much.” She said resting her head against Clarkes. They were so focused on each other that neither of them heard the door open or the two other girls come into the home.

“Now that’s gay.” Raven joked as they jumped at the sudden voice. Clarke felt her cheeks heat up as they turned red, she looked up between the girls and saw the smug looks on their faces.

“So, do we finally have a new couple in the friendship?” Octavia asked sitting by the two girls at the table and Raven quickly following behind her, both of them giving them a knowing look.

“Officially not yet, but in every other way yes.” Lexa said going back the meal sitting in front of her.

“What kind of answer is that?” Raven threw a piece of paper that was sitting on the table at her as the other girls laughed.

“It means she hasn’t asked me yet.” Clarke flicked her hair causing Lexa to roll her eyes and playfully roll her eyes at the blond. “What you gotta treat me right to keep me.” She played with her even more. They both knew that they didn’t need the formalities of a typical relationship.

They had already done this in such a roundabout way. They had been harbouring feelings for the other for way too long. They had both been in and out of relationships wondering why they would run back to each other when things wouldn’t work out. They got jealous too easily. Lexa ended up pregnant before they had even got together and it in the end was the reason, they stopped playing games with each other. So formality wasn’t important to them and they wanted to focus on them. A label didn’t define what they felt for each other, they knew they loved each other they just had to work the rest of it out.

“I’m just glad you two have sorted your shit out. So take your time working the rest of it now. You’ve waited six years I’m sure a few months to sort stuff out won’t take too big of toll.” Raven smiled as she spoke to her two best friends. “So now that you guys are talking again can we tell her about the house.” Lexa playfully punched her arm at her revealing her secret and Clarke looked at them confused not knowing what she was talking about.


	18. eighteen

“So, as you know we are going to need a bigger place for when the baby comes. When I went to Jakes after I was kicked from school, he gave me access to that account he set up, which has almost two hundred thousand dollars.” Lexa said still in shock about the amount of money that Jake put aside for her. The other three girls all looked in shock too and Clarke couldn’t keep her jaw shut knowing that Jake had left her the same amount.

“What the fuck.” She managed to get out her head spinning.

“I know it’s crazy. But he said after everything with your mom he put it away so she couldn’t touch it.” With the mention of her mom Clarke felt the memories of it all come back and she was back in middle school.

_“Lex, they’ve haven’t stopped fighting since I got home.” Lexa knew she was crying as she was speaking to her through the phone. She wished there were a way to help Clarke with her parents. It was all so messy. Abby and Jake had gotten together quickly after Clarke was conceived neither wanting to disappoint their parents. It was a marriage out of necessity, and it seemed fine for a long time, almost thirteen years. But it all fell apart when Abby was caught cheating on Jake with someone she met at the hospital._

_“Do you want me to come over?” Lexa asked, even though she knew she wasn’t supposed to leave the house, or the house father would lose it. But she would take the risk to make sure Clarke was okay, and she knew that her friend needed her. So, she didn’t even wait for her reply to climb out her window._

_Within ten minutes she was climbing into Clarkes room. She quickly went over to the blond who was shaking and sobbing. Lexa took her into her arms and held her tightly. They both heard the shouting but that wasn’t what was important. What was important was that they were together and despite what they were going through their friendship was strong as ever._

_“She doesn’t want me.” Clarke started to cry harder, Lexa didn’t know what she meant but she help onto her and ran her hand up and down her back in a calming manor until slowly the tears came less and less and Clarke’s breathing was returning to normal. “She told my dad she is moving away with her new boyfriend and won’t fight for custody unless he pays her some amount of money.”_

_Lexa had never had a problem with Abby, she had always made her comfortable with the friendship her daughter and her shared. But in the last few months things had changed and everything was tense, that’s when Lexa found out Abby had cheated on Jake and was planning on moving to another state for a new job and life. If that wasn’t enough to start the spark of hate in her mind it was the moment that she found out Abby wanted to abandoned her own daughter for a sum of money that set it for Lexa._

_For months Lexa held Clarke when Abby and Jake would fight until the early morning. Until Abby would finally storm out the house and Jake would curl up in a ball crying, trying to protect his daughter. The divorce went to court and it was just as messy. Abby ended up getting a pretty big settlement, not as much as she wanted, but it left both parents stable. As she said Abby didn’t fight for Clarke and the blond didn’t fight for her mother to want her, she had her dad and Lexa among other friends, so she didn’t care if the woman didn’t want her. But as much as she said that it still hurt, and it still did years later._

“Hey sorry I didn’t mean to bring her up.” Lexa took a hold of Clarkes had and pulled her out of the depths of her own mind. She wiped a tear away with her free hand and kissed the top of her forehead. Earning a sweet smile from Clarke.

“No, it’s okay I just got caught up.” Clarke smiled at them all and turned the attention back to Lexa. “Go on, what about a house?”

“Right so, your dad and I have been looking at houses for the past couple weeks, not far from here. It’s basically in the middle of the campus and your dads. It’s a beautiful two storey house, open plan living with a big kitchen, dining and living area and home theatre all on the lower level. Four bedrooms on the top floor as well as a study nook and another lounge area.” Lexa couldn’t help the smile on her face. She had always loved houses and the thought of one day having her own home and designing it the way she wanted. That was one of the reasons her and Jake clicked so easy, they were interested in the same things and houses and decorating being a big one.

“You bought it already didn’t you?” Clarke knew Lexa better than anyone else and she knew that with the look in her eye and the smile on her face she had fallen in love with the place. She knew that when the brunette wanted something, she would get it.

“No, as much as I wanted to your dad told me I should show it to you guys seeing you would be living with me. But it’s one of his friend’s properties and it isn’t on the market so if we want it, it’s ours.” The grin hadn’t left her face and the other girls laughed at her being so excited at the prospect of a house.

“Call papa G and see if he can show us today.” Octavia suggested and within the minute Lexa had pulled out her phone and dialled the number.

“Hey Jake, I told the girls about the house are you free to show it today?” Lexa asked as soon as he picked up, he could practically feel her smiling through the phone.

 _“Yeah I’m free today. So, I’m guessing you made up with a certain daughter of mine?”_ He questioned and Lexa felt her cheeks heat up and flash red.

“Yes, I did, and you’ll be happy to hear that we both got our shit together.” She informed him as Clarke placed her hand in Lexa’s knowing they were talking about her. Lexa sent her a cute grin and ran her thumb over the girl’s hand absentmindedly.

 _“It’s about time.”_ He chuckled, they said their goodbyes and agreed to meet in half an hour. 

…

“Lex this place is amazing.” Raven said in awe with her jaw dropped open as they pulled into the driveway of the modern two storey house. It was quiet a big house with grey and white stone and a wood panelling. It sat on a neatly trimmed green lawn with the driveway leading into a two-car garage.

“You haven’t even been in yet.” Lexa beamed as she parked the car and saw Jake and his friend walk towards them.

“Jake here was telling me that this is the one?” Marcus Kane asked shaking her hand and looking over her other friends.

“I haven’t been able to take my mind off this place, I wanted to grab it when you first showed but Jake said it was probably best to ask the other people who would be living with me.” She joked and rolled her eyes at Jake when he made a face at her.

“Of course, come right in.” Lexa grabbed a hold of Clarkes hand when Kane turned around to lead them into the home. “Here we have the home theatre right as you walk in.” He pointed leading everyone into the room right off the main entrance.

It was quiet a spacious room with a simple couch, coffee table and a flat screen. Lexa could see them putting in a bigger couch, probably a ‘L’ shaped one and a few bean bags to support their friend group.

“Movie nights are gonna rock in here.” Octavia said already picturing them living in the house, which Lexa smiled at. Kane led them back into the hallway and pointed to the bathroom and the power room. Without stopping long in there he led them to the open living area and all three girls jaws dropped when they saw it.

A beautiful gourmet kitchen with an attached butler’s pantry which Raven drooled over, being the major foodie in the group. She couldn’t help but mention how many more snacks she could keep in this kitchen than there other one. There was an attached lounge area with three couches across from the island bench of the kitchen. On the other side of the room was the dinning area with a bar on the wall. The table sat six which would be fine on most nights. But when they would be entertaining the sliding doors would open up to the patio area which had a table that would sit another six. For entertaining as well there were two outdoor couches set up in the back yard as well as another sitting area on the other patio which lead to the lounge area off the kitchen.

“This is so beautiful, no wonder you love it.” Clarke spoke in her excited voice still holding onto and squeezing Lexa’s hand. She could see it without even looking at the rest of the place. She could see her and Lexa living here.

“She knew you would love it too.” Jake teased as they all split up to look at the lower level. Lexa followed Clarke like a lost puppy as she explored the place and Jake followed behind them teasing them every time, they got too mushy.

“Are you guys ready to check upstairs?” Kane asked after about ten minutes. They all agreed and followed him up the stairs. “The master bedroom is right off the stairs, I can only assume that would be Lexa’s.” He said and she nodded. Octavia and Raven went in the other direction in search of the other rooms as they wouldn’t all fit.

He took them through the rest of the upstairs which held a rumpus room and lead to a little study nook. On the other side of the hallway was three bedrooms and a bathroom. Raven immediately found the largest of the three and called dibs.

“So, I think it’s fair to say it’s sold.” Raven reached out her hand to shake Kane’s as soon as she found her room, not waiting for anyone else to put in input.

“Clarke?” Lexa asked knowing that she wanted her to feel at home here and wanted her to live in the house for the rest of their lives as they raised a family. So, if Clarke didn’t like it, despite how much Lexa did she would find another house.

“I love it, yes.” Lexa pulled her into a hug in response and kissed the top of her head.

“So, you two have confessed your love, you’re about to buy a house and Lexa’s pregnant, can you just make it official already.” Raven teased as Jake laughed loudly. Lexa didn’t even say anything she pulled Clarke into a deep kiss which said more than she ever could.

“I will take that as a yes.” Octavia laughed at the could. Lexa pulled away with the biggest smile on her face.

After six long years she could finally call Clarke Griffin hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the house if anyone wanted to check it out  
> https://www.mcdonaldjoneshomes.com.au/home-design/castleton#home-design-floor-plan


	19. nineteen

**Lexa:** you busy tonight?

 **Clarke:** Other than packing for the move nope

 **Lexa:** i’m picking you up at 6.30 date night :)

In the craziness of the last few weeks, between Lexa finally starting to feel better and them packing all their things to move into the house Clarke and Lexa seemed to be spending more time apart than together and even when they were together it was with the other girls. Lexa missed her girlfriend and felt they hadn’t spent the time dating before getting into a relationship. The couple knew everything about each other, they knew even the small intimate details, but Lexa wanted to date the blond and relearn everything.

 **Clarke:** That’s in an hour Lex I’m currently in sweats

 **Lexa:** you’ll be fine nothing fancy i’m not even bothering with make up

Lexa smiled down at her phone imagining the blond rushing around the mess of boxes that surrounded her apartment trying to dress up for her. Lexa never cared what Clarke wore she always looked gorgeous and was the most beautiful person in every room she went in.

“Woods, O is currently on date night with her mans, so you wanna grab food?” Raven asked slumping down on the spot next to her on the couch.

“Sorry date night for me too.” Lexa ruffed her hair as the younger girl groaned.

“I really need to find me a date, all my friends are practically married.” Raven huffed and rolled her eyes. “Where you are you taking Clarke?”

“Just to the pizza place we used to go.”

“We haven’t been there in years, I forgot that place even existed.” She thought back to their favourite hangout place when they were in high school. The place which never the parents never went, and all four girls got a break from everything inside the four walls. “Feeling nostalgic?” She asked.

“I don’t know so much has changed, and I just want to be with her in the place we felt comfortable.” Lexa admitted as Raven ‘awed’ at her. “Plus, babies craving pizza.” This caused Raven to laugh at the almost selfish dinner choice.

“So again Clarke is nothing but a pawn in your game.” Raven said grinning and Lexa playfully punched her arm shaking her head. “I’m proud of you, you know.” She let it hang in the air and the older girl looked at her with a mix of shock and confusion not knowing why she was saying such. “You’ve taken this like a fucking champ, sure you didn’t tell us at the start which I completely understand, and I can’t even begin to think how scared you must have felt. And I know you are still scared, hell even I am, but you haven’t shut down on us. I think you’ve opened up more now than ever before, you even finally told Clarke. You’ve excepted our help and moving into your first house. Lex this is so amazing and you’re doing so well.” Lexa immediately pulled her into an almost bone crushing hug.

She hadn’t realised how much she needed to hear those words. She couldn’t remember someone showed her how far she’d come. She knew she had grown as a person over the last few months, but Raven was right, being pregnant had really caused her to lean on everyone else around her and trust them.

“It takes a village okay, and we are with you the entire way.” Raven kissed the top of her head as Lexa rubbed away the few fallen tears and caught her breath which the other girl had taken away.

“Thank you.” They hugged for a few more moments, both wanting to be close to the other. “But I really have to get going, I won’t be home too late.” Lexa escaped into her room and freshened up to go pick up her girlfriend.

…

“You better not ruin this place by having some weird pizza craving Woods.” Clarke giggled as they were seated in the booth of the pizzeria.

“So, I can’t order the spaghetti pizza? Man, I was really looking forward to that.” Lexa pouted as Clarke rolled her eyes at her attempt at a joke.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” The blond said picking up a menu to look over the pizzas. “What are you getting anyway?”

“I was thinking pepperoni.” She suggested closing her menu and looking across the table to the girl. “You want to share?” She already knew the answer, ever since they were kids, they would share a pepperoni.

“You know it.” Clarke winked at her as the waiter came towards them. 

“Lexa?” The waitress called out as she came into eye shot. Both women looked towards the worker and smiled at the old friend, Lexa immediately jumped out of her seat and wrap her in a hug.

“Luna, it’s been so long.” Clarke smiled as she stood up and hugged her as well. “It’s so good to see you.”

“I know I haven’t seen you all since high school.” Lexa and Clarke slid back into the booth as Luna spoke. “We should really all catch up again, it’s been too long.” All three agreed with the idea. After high school most of their friendship group lost contact unless they went to the same school.

“I’ll get the food right out for you.” Luna smiled as the girls thanked her and she went back to work.

“We should throw a housewarming party.” Lexa suggested and Clarke’s eyes shot up causing Lexa to laugh.

“You hate parties.”

“I know but Luna’s right we haven’t seen a lot of our friends in a few years. I don’t know starting this new chapter of our life seems right to do with friends, they should all be a part of it.” Clarke couldn’t help the wide smile that formed on her lips and she reached out her hand to hold her girls.   
  
“I can’t wait to move in.” She smiled thinking about how nice the house is compared to the apartments they were currently living in.

“Your dad text me about that today actually, he said the rooms should be done middle of next week.” Jake had done the honour of decorating their bedrooms, they all agreed to keep the main living area as is. But the bedrooms, theatre and rumpus room were all being redone. It was his housewarming present to them.

“I’m so excited to see what he’s done, he hasn’t shown me anything.” Clarke said with a small pout. She hated not knowing what to expect but they both had full faith in him to live up to expectations.

“I told him not to do the nursery, I was thinking we could do it?” She framed as almost a question.

“You want me to help?” Clarke asked.

“Of course.” She stated simply.

“I just assumed it was something you’d plan on your own.” The blond shrugged her shoulders.

“I want to do this with you Clarke. I can’t do it without you. Sure, we’ve been dating a couple weeks, but I have no intentions of this not being serious. I plan on marrying you one day Griffin.” Clarke couldn’t help the tears that streamed down her face. Without even thinking she left her seat and sat on Lexa’s side instantly taking her face in her hands and connecting their lips in a passionate kiss. “You offer to live in my house and help me raise my child and you expect me to not want you buy my side every step of the way.” Clarke blushed at her words and brought her in for a chaste kiss again.

“Does this mean I won’t be getting my own room?” She asked with a cheeky smile.

“If you want your own room that’s fine by me, but I would rather you in my arms every night.” Lexa had her hand over her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.

“Then I’m never leaving.” Both of them smiled lost in their own world, only pulled by Luna placing down the pizza in front of them.

“So, college finally brought you two together I see.” Luna winked, Lexa laughed, and Clarke blushed.

“Finally persuaded her.” Lexa kissed the top of her head again.

“I’m really happy for you guys.” Clarke felt her heart swell. She knew it took her a while, but she was so glad Lexa had forced her to except her feelings and to take the leap. She was also grateful that their friends and family were so supportive of them, especially Jake, Raven and Octavia.

“I love you.” Clarke breathed out in utter admiration of the older girl.

“I have a suspicion you’re talking to the pizza and not me, but on behalf of both of us I say I love you too.” Clarke couldn’t hold back the laughter at her dumb joke and kissed the brunette as she smiled before reaching for her food.

“It was definitely towards the pizza, but I guess you’re alright too.” Clarke laughed and Lexa rolled her eyes. They enjoyed the quiet night between the two of them and couldn’t help but think how lucky they were and how there was no where they would rather be.


	20. twenty

“So how was date night with blondie?” Raven asked joining Lexa in the lounge the next morning.

“It was good, she’s still asleep.”

“You brought her home with me in the house?” Raven asked in a loud voice acting hurt.

“Nothing happened and plus you’re moving into my house in a week, you’re going to have to get used to it.” Lexa stuck her tongue out at the girl who did it back.

“How’s that going by the way?” She asked taking a sip of her juice.

“Good Jake said they’re on schedule so we should be in there soon.” Lexa smiled almost anxious to just get out of the apartment and into the house. “Guess who still works at the pizza place.” She said changing topics, knowing that would get a rise out of Raven.

“Who?” She questioned.

“A certain high school crush of yours.” Lexa raised an eyebrow and laughed at the slight blush that appeared on her face.

“Luna Flo, I haven’t talked to her in years, how is she?” Raven tried to hide her excitement but failed.

“She seems good, excited about Clarke and me. She said we should all catch up.” Before Raven could even try not to explode with excitement their front door open and Octavia call out.

“We brought food.” She called out as they heard them go through the kitchen to get cutlery.

“You better not have brought eggs, I don’t want to deal with the vomit.” Raven called out in a joking matter. They had found out the hard way that even after trimester one Lexa couldn’t handle the smell of eggs or coffee, so they were banned from the apartment until further notice.

“I’ve learnt my lesson with that one.” Octavia laughed and came into the lounge, Lincoln by her side. “Plus, if Lexa barfed Lincoln would be next and we don’t want that.” Octavia sat the food down and they all laughed when they heard Lexa’s room open and the bathroom door open and shut, signalling a certain blond waking up for food.

“How’s the kid?” Lincoln asked sitting down. After the situation with Ontari Lexa told Lincoln about her being pregnant while apologising profusely over yelling at him. He took it super cool and called the cool uncle before moving onto the next topic, which Lexa was grateful for.

“Morning princess.” Raven said in a sing-song tone as the blond came into the room. She greeted everyone and took her food and sat by Lexa, practically almost on her lap.

“Morning.” She whispered and kissed her lips.

“I love how domestic you guys are, like it was bad when you guys were besties, but this is almost gross.” Lincoln teased them and Lexa childishly stuck her tongue out as he rolled his eyes and laughed.

“I say we have a movie day, my arms are jelly from all the lifting we did yesterday.” Raven complained, they had begun to pull apart the furniture they would be keeping for the move and both girls were feeling the effects of it today.

“Yes, a girly day.” Lincoln cheered in the highest pitch he could manage.

“You get to stay if you go buy me snacks.” Lexa pouted and Lincoln agreed.

…

“Lex you disgust me.” Lincoln watched in horror as the woman sprinkled chilli flakes over her bowl of freshly popped popcorn, which was also housing a bag of M&Ms.

“That’s not even her worse things, between ice cream with her burgers and pretzels with honey and cheese.” Raven yelled from her spot on the couch.

“Just try it.” Lexa shoved the bowl in his face and him never backing down from anything took a handful and tried her creation, making sure to get chocolate and the spicy popcorn.

“You know what Woods, I’ll give it to the kid it’s actually pretty good.” Lexa celebrated with a small dance like victory as Raven groaned.

“The more people say her food is good, the more she eats.” To that Lexa threw a piece of popcorn at her, Raven stood to try and retaliate.

“Babe sit down, cuddle.” Clarke said with a sweet voice and pulled her down on the couch. Lexa rolled her eyes as Raven made the sound of a whip cracking. The couple were too busy settling down to response, Lexa laid down on the couch and Clarke laid on her with her head on her chest.

The group argued about what to watch until finally settling on ‘The age of Adeline.’ Surprisingly the group was fairly quiet through the movie. That’s when they realised that Lexa had fallen asleep under Clarke. It wasn’t until Raven started yelling about the plot that she woke up.

“You’re telling me you would stay with the kid of the man you were going to marry. Your ex-boyfriend now being your father in law.” She ranted as Lincoln and Octavia laughed at how heated she was becoming. Clarke laid still in Lexa’s arm as she placed kisses on her neck, Lexa running her hand through blond hair.

“Did you even see any of it?” Clarke asked with her lips basically grazing her neck.

“I’m tired.” Lexa whined pouting her bottom lip, which Clarke quickly kissed away.

“I think I made a mistake offering to move in with those two.” Raven said as she threw a few left-over pieces of popcorn at the couple.

“Just think how cute that little guys going to be.” Lincoln said not focusing on his words. But Lexa heard them and sat up forcing Clarke to do so to.

“You think it’s a boy?” Lexa asked with a smirk on her face.

“I do actually, or maybe it’s just because I’m surrounded by too many girls.” He said and the girls laughed, knowing that he loved hanging around the girls. “What do you think the little ones going to be?” No one had asked her yet and as much as she wanted to give the same answer everyone else did about not caring about the sex as long as they’re healthy, but she had a feeling.

“I have a feeling it’s a boy.” She smiled at the confession.

“You know you said boy at the ultrasound.” Raven said thinking back to when she had let it slip and neither of the other women brought it to attention.

Clarke felt the words sink in as Raven said them, that the other girl was with Lexa, and she wasn’t. It stung that she had missed the thing that Lexa was so excited and nervous for. All because she hurt Lexa by using her and messing with her feelings for being confused of her own.

Lexa had picked up on the blonds energy and scooted over on the couch until their thighs were touching. She wrapped her hand around Clarke’s waist and pulled her into a forehead kiss.

“Are you going to find out the sex?” Octavia asked her. 

“I don’t really care to be honest, doesn’t really change anything for me.” Lexa shrugged and went to the bowl of popcorn that sat in front of them. Raven rolled her eyes and groaned at her snack choice.

“So, have we thought about name?” Raven asked.

“We haven’t thought about anything.” Lexa said pointing between herself and Raven.

“Okay well I was thinking Ray if it’s a boy or Ray if it’s girl.” She suggested leaving the names out in the air. Octavia and Lincoln couldn’t help but stifle their laugh as Lexa rolled her eyes.

“I am not naming my kid after you.” Raven held a hand to her heart and acted hurt.

“You’ve wounded me Woods, after all we’ve been through.”

“I say go for Blake, works for boy or girl.” Octavia fired off winking at Lexa. Clarke was the one to roll her eyes at the suggestion. “Okay so that’s a no.” When she got a side from Lexa.

“We are not naming our kid after any of you.” Clarke said letting out a chuckle. She hadn’t thought before she let the words from her mouth. Instantly she regretted the words. She blocked out what the others were saying as she was internally panicking. She left the room and ran into Lexa’s trying to calm herself down.

Clarke knew that Lexa loved her, and she had said that she wanted the blond in her life, but those words felt so real as she said them. Neither of them had spoken about where Clarke was going to stand with the baby. How involved she was going to be from the start of the relationship.

When Lexa had first told her about being pregnant, she had pictured being by her side. Helping with the rough nights where the baby wouldn’t sleep. Picking them up from day-care. Changing diapers and doing the washing. But now that she knew her feelings and they were in a relationship she wanted that more than she could process. But she also wanted to be the one waking up in Lexa’s arm every morning and kissing her after coming home from work every night.

But they hadn’t spoken about what Lexa wanted her to be when the baby came. If she was taking on the role of mother or just the girlfriend. It scared her to death not being on the same page as Lexa. She knew in theory that Lexa wanted all the same things she did, but the shocked look on her face when Clarke spoke put it all in perspective. She wasn’t this baby’s mother and it wasn’t biology that made a family, but she couldn’t help but think that Lexa was fine to do it all alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so lowkey struggling with writers block for the later chapters, so please feel free to leave some suggestions to what you want to see happen both before and after bub comes, or any plot lines.   
> or even hmu up on tumblr to have a chat or talk the story :) @lifemeetslove


	21. twenty one

“Clarke?” Lexa knocked on the door, her heart aching when she heard the sniffles through the door.

To say she was shocked at her words would be an understatement. She was stunned to hear that Clarke was so on board with the idea of a family with her. Shock was the first emotion to run through her head, love and admiration quickly took over, but Clarke had already freaked out at that point.

The other three had left the house quickly knowing how Clarke got when she gets overwhelmed. So, they thought it was best to let them be. Lexa knew a heart to heart was coming and was grateful that her baby was settled today, and no overwhelming symptom would turn the attention on her instead of the blond.

“Clarke baby, please talk to me.” She knocked on the door again. Even though it was her room and unlocked she would wait for her to open it. Which thankfully didn’t take long as she heard footsteps coming towards the door.

“I’m sorry.” Was the first thing she said as she opened the door. Lexa wanted to pull her into a hug and hold her close, but Clarke quickly pulled herself away from the door and sat down on the bed. Lexa sat on the desk chair wanting to give her some space.

“Sorry for what?” Lexa asked feeling a tightness in her chest at the blond being upset.

“I overstepped, I said our baby.” Lexa wanted to yell that she was wrong until she understood. But Clarke was explaining her feelings openly and Lexa thought it was best to talk things out on both sides.

“You didn’t overstep.” Lexa tried to explain but the blond shook her head.

“I saw the look on your face when I blurted those words out. I didn’t even mean to say them, but I wanted to. Is that what you want?” Clarke asked worry still evident on her face. Lexa scooted closer to her on the swivel chair and took Clarke’s hand in her own.

“Baby, look at me.” Finally, blue eyes met green, and Lexa smiled at her. “You are my girl, and you have been since we were six. I love you with everything I am. I have wanted a family since I was a kid, a real, healthy family and when you and Jake came along, I finally got that. And here we are years later I still have that and so much more, a great bunch of friends, a father, a kid, and you. Clarke Griffin I want everything with you. This baby” Lexa took the blonds hand and placed it on her own stomach where the life was growing inside her. “is what I want, and I want you just as much. But what I need is for you by my side every step of the way. I told you the other day, you are the one I am spending the rest of my life with. We can take this as slow or as fast as you want, if you want to call the baby yours and take on the role of mother then that’s exactly what we’ll do. And if you want to take it slow and see what happens when the baby’s born then we’ll do that. It’s up to you baby, I may not have a choice, but you do.” Lexa said lightening the mood with a chuckle at the end which made Clarke smile.

“I love you.” Clarke lent over and kissed her girlfriend, one hand was on her neck and the other was still on her belly. It was passionate and filled with all the emotions that they were both holding onto. “I haven’t felt your tummy yet.” Clarke smiled at her and rubbed her stomach that was still tight and even though the outlines of her abs were starting to fade she didn’t look pregnant.

“A few more weeks and you might start to feel him move.” Lexa smiled at she with the same dopey grin she always gave the blond. Clarke couldn’t help but kiss her again at the way she was looking at her.

“Can we just not name him after one of our friends?” She asked and they both knew that they were in this together.

“You want this?” Lexa asked wanting to confirm it.

“I want it all.” Instead of kissing her lips Clarke bent down and kissed her exposed belly. Making Lexa’s heart swell. “But if I’m being honest, I thought it was going to be a girl.” Clarke admitted with a cheeky grin.

“Well lucky for you, you have a fifty-fifty chance of getting it right.” Clarke pulled Lexa onto the bed with her and held the girl in her arms running her hands through brunette hair. They laid in a comfortable silence both in their own worlds, only interrupted by Lexa’s phone ringing. Clarke reached over and handed it to her.

“Why does dad always call you and not me.” Clarke huffed giving her the phone.

“I guess I’m the favourite.” Lexa joked and answered the phone. “Hey papa Griff.” She put the phone on speaker as she greeted him.

“Hey there’s my favourite daughter.” They felt him smile through the phone as Clarke groaned and Lexa laughed.

“That’s what I told her, but she didn’t believe me.” It was Jake’s turn to laugh, both girls knew that he had always had a soft spot for the older girl.

“Well I just wanted to tell you that the house is ready for you all to move in.” Both girls were almost shaking with excitement.

“When can we move in?” Clarke shot through the phone barely letting him finish the sentence.

“As soon as you want. I’m free for the rest of the week to help you guys move in.” Jake told the girls. Lexa didn’t know if she was more excited to move in because it was her house or so she could finally unpack all the boxes that were filling up both apartments.

“Perfect, it’ll probably take a week or two to get entirely set up so we should start as soon as we can.” Lexa said and the others agreed with her wanting to set up as quickly as they could.

“We have the week off school so it works out good, can rope the whole crew into it.” Clarke said and Lexa laughed.

“You mean make Lincoln and O carry all the heavy stuff.” Lexa laughed and Clarke nodded her head.

“No heavy lifting Lexa, I mean it.” Jake lectured through the phone and even though he wasn’t there to see she was nodding her head.

“Yes dad.” She said saluting the air making Clarke laugh. With that they said their goodbyes and made a time to meet tomorrow before they both fell back onto the bed.

Lexa laying on top of Clarke started kissing her neck, making her instantly arch her back and let out a small moan. Clarkes hand found Lexa’s waist and her neck where she wrapped her fingers into the baby hairs.

“Lex I need to go make food.” She said in a breathy husky voice that sent Lexa crazy. It only caused her to kiss her way up to the blonds mouth and meet her in a deep passionate kiss.

“Let me eat you instead.” Lexa pulled away from the kiss and when Clarke whined, she knew they wouldn’t be eating for a while.


	22. twenty two

“And that is the last box.” Lincoln huffed almost two weeks after they first got the keys to the house.

They had finished packing up the apartments after the call from Jake and a few days after that they had started to move in. Their bedrooms were done so they had space to sleep while moving in everything else. It took a total of two weeks to unpack every box.

If it was up to Clarke and Raven, they would have let the boxes sit around for months until they finally got to them. But Lexa didn’t let a box come into the house unless the one before it was unpacked. Which seemed annoying at the start but now as the group of six sat in the living room with the house fully furnished, they knew it was the best choice.

“I still can’t believe how amazing this place is.” Clarke smiled as she sipped on her wine looking around the open plan living. “And the bedrooms are amazing, I can’t thank you enough dad.” Clarke was sitting between him and Lexa, she placed a kiss on his cheek in appreciation.

He had really out done himself with the interior design of the five rooms. Lexa was happy with the main living space, so he left them as is. But she had him upgrade hers, Ravens and the spare room, the movie theatre and the upstairs living room. She had left the nursey for her and Clarke to set up.

Lexa and Clarkes room was almost too big for them, but Jake had made it look cosy. With dark hardwood floors and white walls. He had extended the walls in the middle of the room to make a little nook for the bed head and bedside tables. By the window were a set of lounge chairs, perfect for when Lexa was nursing or a place for reading. On one side of the room was an en-suite bathroom diagonal to that on the other wall was a walk-in robe big enough for both of them. Across from their bed hung a flat screen and enough space for a small crib for the baby in the first few months.

Raven was in awe of her room, again with simple white walls and hardwood floors, covered by a fluffy rug. A bed too big for her and paintings hanging above. With a plant she would most likely forget to water on the side. She also had a walk-in robe which was some how already a mess of clothes and a desk in the corner, also a mess. It was so very her.

“Yeah I can’t thank you enough.” Lexa thanked him for what was probably like the millionth time.

“Anything for my girls.” He smiled at them and kissed both girls’ heads. “What do you say Linc, time to christen the grill?” The two boys were pulling meats from the fridge as the girls sat back on the couches sipping wine.

Lexa had always loved nights like these, where they felt more like family than friends. A dysfunctional, crazy, but a family non the less. She couldn’t wait for the nights where there would be the little pitter patter of feet. Lexa was even looking forward to the sleepless nights because it was all she ever wanted, a family to call her own.

…

“Raven I swear to god.” Lexa was woken up from her nap on the couch by a rush of loud noises and a slamming of the front door.

In the year that Raven and Lexa lived together they had never argued with each other as much as Raven and Clarke had in the week they had been living together. The pair were like sisters, and they fought like it too. Lexa was just hoping that it was just them getting used to living with each other and it would pass soon, and everyone would get along.

“You woke up the pregnant lady, good going.” Raven bickered back giving her a grin as she placed a bag of groceries on the counter. Clarke did the same but quickly found a spot on the couch next to her girlfriend and meeting her lips for a kiss.

“Can you please tell Raven that she can not blow something up in our backyard for the gender reveal.” Clarke whined and Raven went to argue back but Lexa put her hand up and silenced both of them.

“Hate to break it to you two, but I’m not even having a gender reveal.” They both should have known that it was something Lexa wouldn’t even want. But they got caught up in wanting it that when she announced she wasn’t having one, they acted shocked. “You are already forcing me to have a baby shower, that’s enough for me. No gender reveal, and no blowing anything up in my yard.” Her word was final and they both nodded their head in agreement.

“Speaking of parties, are we doing a housewarming?” Raven asked.

“Yeah we can.” Lexa shrugged nonchalantly not really minding either way.

“Is next weekend too close?” Clarke asked and before she could even get her answer her and Raven were planning it and the invite list.

“I don’t want friends of friends, lets just try keep it smallish.” Saying that Lexa knew that the party would still be decent time knowing how many friends they had between the three of them. It was also the night Lexa was going to tell all the extended friends about the pregnancy, she was safely in her second trimester and thought it was time to tell everyone.

“You got it boss.” Clarke said as she leant over and kissed her girlfriends lips. That was another announcement they would have to make, that they were officially together, that news would go down a lot easier than the other. As most of their friends knew that the pair would end up together one day.

“How are you feeling now in tri two?” Raven asked as she read through a mom magazine Lexa had bought the other day.

“Better, I’m still tired all the time but feel like I still have the energy to go out and do things. My morning sickness has gone which is a god send, I couldn’t have dealt with that for a lot longer. But my nose is constantly blocked and driving me crazy.” She told the girls, absentmindedly placing a hand on her stomach.

“I read that humidifier can help, use it at night.” Raven suggested. Lexa found it funny and enduring that Raven had been reading up on baby and pregnancy things just as much as Lexa had. it made her feel so blessed that she had found herself such a strong family. Who have dropped everything to help her raise her child. She had thought she would have been alone, but that was the furthest thing from the truth.


	23. twenty three

“So sixteen weeks, four months that’s crazy. In a few weeks you’ll be halfway there.” Clarke smiled with glee as they laid in bed. The tv played softly in the background but they were too wrapped up in each other. “Five months and we meet the bub.” She couldn’t resist putting a kiss on Lexa’s lips. Bub was the gender neutral term they had agreed on, when referring to the baby.

“I think I’m starting to show.” Lexa admitted with a shy look and could feel Clarke moving her hand to rest on her belly.

“Barely, I can’t wait till you show and I can show the world how beautiful my girl is and how amazing she is in carrying our baby.” Clarke still felt shy in saying that the baby was as much hers as Lexa’s. but it was the smile Lexa gave her every time she did that made her want to say it even more every day. Clarke was the one she would spend the rest of her life with and the baby was apart of their life now, nothing would change that Lexa wanted her to be there through it all, and Clarke wanted to be there.

“I was reading that bub’s ears have formed and they can hear your voice. They can also remember songs they hear in the womb when they’re born.” Clarkes eyes lit up at hearing that and wasted no time in forcing Lexa to lie on her back. Clarke pushed down the blanket and pushed up her shirt leaving Lexa’s belly exposed.

“Hey bub, this almost feels dumb talking into your moms’ belly. But I love you so much already it doesn’t matter. We are all looking forward meeting you, and there are a lot of us so prepare those pretty little ears for the noise.” Clarke looked up at Lexa and noticed the few small tears that were running down her face. She left her belly and kissed her way up to her face.

“Happy tears baby, I just can’t believe I have you and this baby. We really are starting our life together and I couldn’t be happier.” Clarke kissed her and she felt Lexa smile into the kiss. The blond’s hand never left the small, bloated stomach holding the life that brought them together finally.

…

“I wish there was a room further away from you two than the one I have.” Raven complained as soon as the couple came down the stairs hand in hand. The brunette was sitting on the island bench scrolling through her phone as Lexa sat by her and Clarke prepared them breakfast.

“Rae do you think I’m showing?” Lexa asked slightly raising her shirt to reveal the small bump forming on her lower abdomen. She wasn’t scared to show but it was making her slightly anxious with her body so rapidly changing.

She could notice the change in her hips, they had gotten wider. Her abs had faded and, in its place, a small bump. Her boobs had grown, and her nipples darkened. Clarke had taken full advantage to those changes and the change in sensibility, to which Lexa had no problem with.

“Not really, I mean you can easily cover it and looks that you just stopped working out for a while. But definitely not pregnant.” She told her not wasting the chance to place a hand on the exposed belly, making Lexa jump at the cold skin. “So, what’s the plans for today?” Raven asked as Clarke handed them a bowl of yogurt and granola.

“We have an appointment this afternoon with Beca and might grab some lunch beforehand.” Lexa said simply thanking Clarke with a kiss to her lips. 

“Everything okay?” Raven asked.

“Yeah just the monthly check up.”

“When can you find out the sex?” Raven asked with wide eyes. She was the only one who wanted to know the sex. The others had all accepted that Lexa didn’t want to know, but it was the not knowing that was driving Raven crazy.

“Rae, we aren’t finding out the sex, and that means you too.” Clarke scolded her shaking her head.

“Plus knowing you, you would either let it slip or blow something blue or pink up anyway. Which is also so dumb, like who decided a colour is gendered.” Lexa said shaking her head, not understanding. Clarke and Raven both laughed at her mini rant as it wasn’t the first time they had heard it.

“So I have the house to myself today?” She asked changing subjects with a weird grin, that both Lexa and Clarke picked up on.

“Rae that smile is suggestive, have you met someone and are going to defile my home?” Lexa asked raising an eyebrow.

“Babes, I heard you both last night, I think you defiled your home just fine.” Clarke couldn’t help the blush that crept onto her cheeks and Lexa went with the simple sink in response.

“Okay, well be safe and keep it to your own room please.” Lexa kissed the top of her head and left the brunette there, leading Clarke upstairs so they could get ready for the day.

“Who do you think it is? I haven’t heard her speak about anyone lately.” Clarke rambled as soon they got into their room. Lexa laughed at her, Clarke and Octavia were the groups gossips and they knew everything about everyone, or at least tried to. So when Lexa heard her girlfriend typing she knew who she was talking to.

“I’m actually happy for her, if its just casual or a relationship. She deserves someone good for her.” Lexa called her the closet as she was picking out the clothes for the day. She barely even heard Clarke walk up behind her. She jumped when the blind wrapped her arms around her waist and place her head on Lexa’s shoulder kissing her neck.

“You are so kind.” She said between kisses. Lexa couldn’t help the moan that escaped her mouth. “How bout we defile our bed a little more?” That was the only convincing she needed before dragging Clarke to the bed.

…

“So any problems since our last appointment?” Becca asked her with a smile on her face. She hadn’t said anything to either women but they both seemed to be glowing. Becca had never seen Lexa look so happy as she was today in the company of the blond. As happy as she was last check, she knew something was up, but now that they had seemed to work it out Lexa looked so carefree and Becca wanted to see more of it. The couple had been hand in hand since they entered the doctor’s office.

“No things have been going really well. I thought between coming close to finishing school and moving into the house things would be more stressful, but they actually went alright.” She told the doctor who nodded along with her.

“That’s great to hear.” She smiled at both girls. “Lexa, I’ll just get you to lay back on the bed over there and we can do a quick scan and some measurements of baby.”

“We’ve decided to call them ‘bub’ seeing we don’t want to know the sex.” Lexa told her as they all moved around the room.

“I can support that name. I have to admit that I can’t stand when parents call them ‘nugget’ or something like ‘peanut.’” Clarke couldn’t help but laugh at the confession. She didn’t get it either, out of all the names they choose a food to refer to their unborn child.

“I can’t believe I’m actually going to see them today.” Clarke said in awe as Becca prepped Lexa’s belly for the scan. She had the ultrasounds pictures, but this was different, this was real time.

Tears instantly formed in both girls’ eyes when the image came up on the screen. This time looking even more like a baby. It was that exact moment that Clarke could vividly picture the rest of their life together. Her and Lexa raising this baby as a couple and experiencing everything together. Clarke had never wanted anything as much as this right now.

“So bub is definitely bigger than at twelve weeks, he was a little undersize but pretty average now. Which means that for you Lexa, you are going to start showing soon. I say you probably have a few more weeks where you can get away with no one knowing.” Clarke sent her a radiating smile, she couldn’t wait for Lexa to show the world they were expecting.

“I love you so much.” Clarke said as soon as they got into the car and took Lexa by surprise, kissing her hard and full of passion.


	24. twenty four

Lexa couldn’t help but feel nervous, their housewarming was today, and she was going to have to make two of the biggest announcements to her friends. She knew that all her extended friends would all be cool with the changes and new life being brought into the world, but she still felt nervous over it.

“I’m surprised this house hasn’t blown up yet.” Lexa heard Octavia laugh as her and Lincoln came into the house. It was mid-afternoon, and everyone should be there soon. “Oh my god Lex.” The girl ran over to her who was standing by the island bench. Instantly her hand went to the bloated belly.

In the last week since seeing Becca she had started to show. It was like she said in the twelve week scan, that the growth could happen quiet rapidly, she wasn’t massive, no bigger than the average four month pregnant woman. But it was a shock to see her with a belly, she was always stick thin, usually sporting an outline of a set of abs. It also wasn’t a noticeable bump to most who didn’t know her or see her every day, but to the close friendship group they did.

“Isn’t she gorgeous?” Clarke questioned with a radiant smile, she came from the pantry and wrapped Lexa into a bear hug both hands resting on her belly.

“I woke up the other day and it just appeared.” Lexa laughed resting her own hand on top of one of Clarkes.

“You look amazing Lex.” Lincoln came over and kissed the top of her head, she couldn’t help the blush that lined her cheeks.

“How’s the onion going?” Raven asked as she came from upstairs.

“The onion?” Lincoln questioned as Octavia looked on confused.

“She’s started this thing where each week she’ll read the size of the baby and call it that for the rest of the week.” The others couldn’t help but laugh as Lexa rolled her eyes at the teasing of her child.

Their chat was broken up by the knock on the door. Lexa felt her heart rate shoot up. “Baby, it’s okay we have known most these guys for years. I know it’s scary, but I’m here and you don’t even have to tell them if you don’t want to.” Lexa let out a breath and turned around, so she was facing the blond who was still holding her.

“I want them to know, and I’m sure when they don’t see me drinking, they’ll know somethings up.” Clarke couldn’t help the laugh and the nodded agreeing with her. “I love you.” The blond replied by joining their lips in a simple kissed which Lexa smiled into.

“That is not surprising at all. Took you losers long enough.” They broke apart at the voice of John Murphy, he hugged them both congratulating them. Emori quickly followed through hugging them both. Lexa made a conscious effort to make sure not to hug either too tight, not wanting to reveal it just yet. She thought it easier to tell everyone instead of individual conversations.

“Girls this house is amazing.” Emori complimented after they greeted everyone.

“Yeah it’s pretty dope.” Raven said handing out beers to everyone as Lexa sported her glass of lemonade.

“So what inspired the move?” Murphy asked as they all sat down on the couches.

“Mine and Rae’s lease was finishing, same as O’s and Clarkes. Lincoln and her were ready to move in together so we thought rather than renting another ratty apartment might as well make an investment.” Lexa explained and as she did the door rang again.

“What’s the bet Monty brought his own drinks.” Clarke said as they heard him at the door. The group laughed knowing he never missed the chance to bring his own homemade alcohol.

“Hey guys.” He greeted as him Harper, Jasper and Maya walked in. The group all shared a flat so it was no surprise they all car pooled. They went through another round of greetings and talking about the house before the door rang again.

“I think that’s Echo and Bell.” Octavia announced as she went to the door, but cam back with a crazy haired woman instead.

“Luna.” Lexa smiled and hugged the girls. Jasper and Monty wrapped her in a hug, not having seen her since high school. When the doorbell went as they were introducing her to the other guys it was Echo and Bell.

…

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Clarke whispered into her ear as they ate dinner. They had spent he last few hours catching up and talking about school and jobs. Clarke and Lexa barely even had to announce things between the touches and kisses, and Murphy calling for Bellamy to pay him ten bucks for winning a bet. It was safe to say they all knew.

The group was spread around the outdoor table and the outdoor seating area where they ate the food Bellamy and Lincoln had prepared on the grill. Lexa knew that it was time, and she wanted to. So she stood up from the couch, Clarke still holding her hand and called for the groups attention.

“I have something I have to tell you guys and it’s probably going to be a shock.” She looked around the yard at her friends as they watched her. She looked down at Clarke who gave her a confirming nod and smile before looking back at the group. “I’m pregnant.” She said simply just getting the words out. No one spoke for a second before Echo stood up off the couch across from the and squashed her into a hug.

“I can’t believe I didn’t even notice.” She said looking down having obviously feeling the bump and hugging her again. By the time she pulled away everyone had come by the couches and looking at her with proud eyes. There was another round of hugs between them all and quiet a few tears from Lexa, who was very overwhelmed by the time she sat back down with Clarke. Who instantly pulled her into her arms and ran a hand through the brunette hair to calm her down.

“How far along?” Emori asked.

“Four months.” Clarke answered for her.

“This is why we all went out you called designated driver, you never call that.” Jasper called out causing the others to laugh. It all made sense to them now.

“How did it happen?” Bellamy asked trying to be mindful but not knowing how else to get the question across.

“I hooked up with a guy at a party, and then two months later found out about the baby.” She answered not wanting them to know who the father was but wanting them to know the truth.

“Not in the picture?” Murphy asked and earnt himself a soft slap on the arm by Emori.

“No it’s okay. He was a total dick about it, but I don’t need him. I want this baby and I have an amazing support team around me, which includes all of you. So this baby will never be short of love.” Clarke couldn’t help but kiss her girlfriend at the way she was accepting all the help that was being offered to her.

“Boy or girl?” Echo asked and when Lexa replied that she wasn’t finding out the sex it started a round of arguments about the sex.

“See I told you they would be good about it.” Clarke pulled her into her arms closer and Lexa rested her head against the blonds shoulder.

“I think Raven’s into Luna.” Lexa said after a few minutes of watching the two interact. They were incredibly closer. They were both sharing lingering touching and staring at each other. “I think she was the one Rae had over the other day.” Lexa told Clarke and her face lit up as she nodded agreeing with Lexa.

“They are actually really cute.” Clarke admitted after studying them for a few minutes.

The group spent hours outside talking, laughing, drinking and arguing about whatever came out. When it got too cool, they all went inside and talked a little more. Lexa couldn’t have been happier with how the night had gone. She felt so happy with the friends they had and the way they had supported every change Lexa had made. Things were looking so good for them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, i just lost almost 5000 words and 4 chapters of this story due to an update on my laptop... and i cannot find any recovery file on my computer anywhere, even downloaded some software to help get it back. but nothings worked, guess that'll teach me to use autosave... anyway anyone have any suggestions please help me because i am so devo right now and have no motivation to rewrite what i lost :(((((( pls help me
> 
> anyway hope you enjoy this update as i cry over my spilt milk.


	25. twenty five

A sudden ringing woke Lexa up from her afternoon nap. She stretched her arms before rolling over and answering the vibrating device.

“Hello?” She croaked through the phone, she hadn’t even checked the caller id.

“Hey Lex, Clarke said you had your last exam today and I wanted to invite you and the gang out to celebrate the end of the year.” She recognised the voice as Jakes and smiled at the offer. He was right Lexa was the last to finish the exams out of the group. she was so glad to be done for the year, as much as she hated to admit it took a lot out of her, but she could finally focus on herself and the baby from now. “Did I wake you?” He asked when she zoned out for a minute. Lexa always needed a few moments to wake up before she could have a normal conversation.

“Yeah, I was fighting off the exhaustion all day so came home and took a nap. But that sounds great.”

“Great, now get your butt over here you’re late.” Jake said and hung up the phone. She was confused but when her home screen lit up, she saw all the missed calls and texts. Most from Clarke saying that they were going to her dads and to meet them there if she was up for it. After a quick shower to wake herself up she was on her way.

…

“Hey baby.” Clarke greeted her with a kiss when she arrived at Jakes house.

“Hey sorry, I feel asleep as soon as I got home.” Lexa apologized walking further into the house where the other three friends were sitting in the lounge.

“How’s the little sweet potato going?” Raven questioned as she sat down on the couch.

“What are you calling my grandchild?” Jake asked looking offended as his kissed Lexa’s head greeting her.

“She’s twenty weeks pregnant, that’s how big the baby is now.” Raven said nonchalantly.

Lexa couldn’t hide her belly anymore, while it wasn’t massive, she felt it. People passing by could definitely tell she was expecting, and her regular clothing was becoming too small for her. So, like her current outfit she normally stayed with the baggy shirts or sweatshirts and leggings. Her boobs had seemed to blow up as well, in the span of two weeks had gone up in two bra sizes. To say she was uncomfortable with her body changes would be an understatement. But she was glad for Clarke who always made her feel like the most beautiful person in the room. The pair were basically inseparable, and when they were together they were constantly touching, Clarke mostly left a hand on her belly waiting for the movement Becca told them to look out for.

“Halfway kiddo, how you are feeling?” Lincoln asked, he loved making a point to her that he was older. Even though he didn’t act it. 

“Good, I mean a little stressed about everything that’s coming, and we have to do. But overall excited.” The others nodded, all knowing very well how much had to be done. Either of the girls would rant to them a few times a week about the preparations that had to be made for the baby.

“We’re going to Ikea tomorrow to get the things for the nursey.” Clarke said excitedly. She had been waiting to do the room as soon as they moved in, but they finally had the time to do so now with being off school.

“If you girls need any help let me know.” Jake said, he had also wanted to help with the room. But Lexa really wanted to do this and make it hers.

“Yes dad.” Clarke said even though they knew they would try on their own before calling him.

…

“So, what do we need?” Clarke asked as she started the car towards their local Ikea. Lexa had an image in mind.

“Obviously a crib, a set of draws. There’s a wardrobe in the room so it doesn’t have to be massive, but I am already sensing that this kid is going to have way too many clothes.” Clarke laughed at the side eye that Lexa gave her. “Takes after their mom and all their aunts. I also want a chair for nursing.”

“You’re planning on breastfeeding?” Clarke asked, they hadn’t really spoken about it.

“I think so yeah. Or at least try to and see how it goes. There’s nothing better for the bub than breastmilk and if I can do it why not.” Lexa explained and Clarke agreed knowing the health benefits. “We need a changing table. And then a few decorative things to go around the room. I was thinking of a painting of some kind above the crib.” She told her and Clarke got an idea that made her smile.

“Let me paint something.” They spent the rest of the car ride going over ideas and blueprints for the new room.

“I for one am glad you have a jeep, not only for the car seat for the baby, but we can also fit all the furniture in here.” Clarke smiled at her as they got out of the parked car.

“Must have been thinking about the future.” She said taking a hold of her girlfriends’ hand.

“Or you just thought the car was hot.” Lexa couldn’t argue with that, considering it was the whole reason she got it.

“I really like wood finish.” Clarke said running her hand across the premade crib.

“I like it too, and when they’re a toddler you can take out a side for it to be a bed.” Lexa explained playing with the bed. “I’ll write down the number.” She said as they had done with a few other pieces they liked for the house.

“This chair’s cute, it matches that draw chest too. White with the wood finish, just like you wanted.” Clarke said pointing to the furniture, Lexa had to agree they did look like what she wanted.

…

“I say that was a fantastically simple time.” Clarke said as they got back in the car full of furniture.

“Oh yea, who doesn’t love getting lost in Ikea because we can’t find the flat packs. All I can say is I am not looking forward to putting this all together.” Lexa huffed out putting her belt on and starting the engine.

“Hey at least we found everything today and don’t have to come back.” Clarke kissed the pout away from her lips. “Come on I’ll but lunch.” To that Lexa happily pull out of the car space making Clarke laugh. All the blond had to do lately was bribe her with food and Lexa was on board. She was eating for two and had done a total switch from the first trimester when she couldn’t keep anything down.

…

“How the fuck did you guys do this so quick?” Raven asked in awe as she walked into the nursery.

“It took us a full week.” Lexa shrugged her shoulders.

“It looks amazing Clarke.” They all stared at the feature wall she had painted. The walls were white expect for the corner where the crib sat where she painted a grey triangle going over two walls. They hung a shelf in the middle of the wall and placed knickknacks and frames they had already bought for the baby.

There was a white and black rug in the middle of the floor, the crib sat over it. In the corner of the room near the window was the rocking chair and beside that was a drawer/ changing table. On the other wall was the wardrobe and another set of draws inside. Both women were so happy with the room they had practically spent the entire week arranging.

“I wanted to get it done before I was too pregnant to move.” Lexa laughed looking down to her belly which seemed to be growing every day.

“Speaking of pregnant, lets get you and the little banana some food.”

“I don’t know if the banana wants your cooking.” Lexa said causing Clarke to laugh and Raven to roll her eyes.

“Fine my shout for dinner then.” She said defeated.


	26. twenty six

“Clarke?” Lexa called out at the top of the stairs looking for her girlfriend.

“Kitchen.” She called back in response. Lexa ran down the stairs and didn’t say anything before she jumped up and sat on the island bench. She pulled Clarke into her, so the blond was between her legs. “Lex, what are you doing.” Again, not saying anything Lexa took one of her hands and placed on her lower belly just under her waist band.

“Shh, just feel.” Lexa said when she tried to speak again. Clarke stood there and focused on what Lexa was trying to do. But then she felt it, a sudden move across her belly. She almost didn’t feel anything it was so quick, so pressed down a little harder trying to feel it again.

“Oh my god Lex.” Clarke gasped as she felt it again. When she looked up, they both had tears in their eyes. She didn’t move her hand but kissed Lexa hard as she felt Lexa moving her own hands into Clarkes hair.

"Can you two not fuck where we eat please.” Raven groaned as she walked in on the couple.

“Come here.” Lexa said as Clarke moved out the way. She reached out a hand for the brunette who cautiously came closer to them. Lexa took a hold of her hand and guided it to her waist band as she did with Clarke.

“Whoa, I know you’re horny all the time with the hormones, and as much as I love you guys.” Raven rambled as she tried to move her hand away. Clarke couldn’t help the chuckle she let out and Raven looked even more confused.

“Relax.” She told her and Lexa placed her hand on her belly. They all sat silent as they waited for another movement. Lexa felt her jerk her hand away before immediately putting it back.

“No way.” She breathed out looking between both girls. “That is so fucking cool.” She yelled. “Sorry I thought you were doing something else.” She said sheepishly letting Lexa get down from the bench.

“What can I say Reyes I like my girls feisty.” Lexa shot back at a wink. Clarke slapped her arm and Raven threw her hand back in laughter.

“Trust me you have enough feisty in Clarke to double for me.” This earnt Raven a glare from Clarke. She took that as her que to leave. “Anyway, losers I’m off to bed, don’t keep me up all night.” She blew them both a kiss goodnight before returning upstairs.

“You tired?” Clarke asked her grabbing two bottles of water from the fridge.

“Not really.”

“Movie night?” Lexa immediately agreed and they grabbed a few snacks before going to the front of the house to watch something. They cuddled up on the sofa, Lexa laid flat on her back and Clarke laid on her side connecting their legs and keeping her hands on her belly wanting to feel that movement again.

“You scared for the baby?” Lexa asked her after watching the movie for a while.

“Definitely, but also excited. It’s going to take us a while to get it all down and work out what we need to do. But we have each other and my dad who I’m sure will practically live with us for the first few months, or years.” They both let out a laugh knowing that exactly what he was bound to do. But they also knew that they would want him there.

“It feels so close and yet still so far away.”

“I agree, but the times going to fly, and bub will be here sooner than we’re ready for. The last five months have gone so fast already.” Lexa looked down at her girl who was already looking up at her and smiling. “I think I want to take some time off school.” Clarke admitted and Lexa couldn’t help the shocked look she gave her.

“Clarke no, I can’t make you do that.”

“You wouldn’t be making me, I’ve been thinking about it. I’m on break right now for the next three months. Which means I have to leave you here alone every day and then when the baby’s born I won’t be here with you guys.” Lexa couldn’t fight with what she was saying, she hadn’t thought about the timing and when Clarke would be going back to school. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to look after a newborn daily with little help.

“It’ll only be a year off, I can keep painting and working in the gallery every so often. I just, I can barely leave you now and I know that it’ll only be harder when you both need me. I want to be there.”

“I want you here too, we can work it out. But all I know is that I don’t want you to miss out on things.” Clarke kissed her knowing that she couldn’t get how she felt out into words. It quickly started to get hot and heavy until Clarke felt the flutter in Lexa’s stomach and got distracted. They spent the rest of the night on the couch as Clarke spoke to the baby and drew shapes on Lexa’s skin, prompting her to fall asleep.

…

 _“Hey baby, you were asleep when I left. Rae and I are doing groceries do you need anything?”_ Clarke asked in her usual husky, sweet voice. This prompted Lexa to check her phone and check the time, it was almost midday, she never slept this late. Unless she was sick, which explained her pounding head, sore throat and her nose which felt runny and blocked at the same time.

“I think I’m sick.” She could barely even get it out with the rasp in her throat.

 _“Awe babe you sound it, I’ll pick some stuff up from the store for it.”_ Lexa thanked her before Clarke told her to get some more rest and she’d be home soon.

That’s how Clarke found her, cuddled up in their bed, on Clarke’s side hugging her pillow. Lexa was always like this when she got sick, never wanted to do anything but sleep and cuddle until she was feeling better.

“Lex.” Clarke called to her sitting down on the bed next to her. She saw her eyes flutter open and the small smile lining her lips. “I called Becca, and she wanted to know if it was just cold like symptoms.” Clarke paused and Lexa nodded. “Good, she says its normal and that your body should fight it off in a couple days. Now I’m going to make soup, sound good?” Again, Lexa nodded and sat up rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Clarke leaned in to kiss her, but Lexa pulled away leaving her pouty.

“You’re going to get sick.” Lexa said swallowing hard on her dry throat.

“Babe we had sex last night, you’re acting like a kiss will seal the deal. Now come here.” Lexa could fight the laugh that she caused as she leant back to kiss Clarke. “You want to stay here or come down?” She asked Lexa, who for an answer fell back down into bed and threw the covers over her face.

“I love this soup so much.” Lexa moaned out as she ate the soup on the island bench. She was wrapped up in Clarke’s hoodie and sweats even though the house was heated.

“I think I love this soup more than Clarke.” Raven said as she ate a bowl too. They had been eating this soup since they were kids. It started out as Jake making it but once they moved out Clarke took over the role to look after the sick children.

“Haha you guys are so funny.” Clarke jokingly threw a tea-towel at Raven.

“Hey I didn’t say I loved it more than you.” Lexa pouted looking at Clarke.

“Lucky you then.” She said with a smile and kissed her.

“Glad I said I love the soup more than you.” That earnt a slap for Raven. “Okay but serious for a minute, what are ya’ll doing Friday night?” She asked with a sheepish look.

“I don’t think anything why?” Clarke answered looking at Lexa who shrugged her shoulders and continued to eat her soup.

“I was thinking of inviting Luna over for dinner.” Raven gave Clarke a warning look when her blue eyes lit up. “Clarke please don’t make a big deal of this.”

“So this is serious?” Lexa asked her, they still weren’t sure if it was casual or not.

“It started off as casual and flirty fun, but then it got more and more serious. We’re not together but I think there’s something there.” Raven admitted and Clarke smiled.

“If Lexa’s better by then, then I say go for it. Also, you better invite Linc and O cause if you don’t, she’ll kill you.”


	27. twenty seven

“This is amazing, I’ve never seen her so nervous before.” Clarke said watching Raven pace in the kitchen setting everything up.

“I’ve never seen her clean before.” Lexa laughed pointing over the spotless house. Not that Lexa kept a messy house, but it needed to be Raven perfect.

“I think it’s kid of sweet. Now she won’t be complaining that she’s so single.” Octavia said taking a sip of her beer.

“They really have us to thank for this. It was our date at the pizza place that got them talking again.” Lexa said taking responsibility making the other laugh.

When the bell rang all heads shot to Raven who looked like she was about to throw up. She had never done this before, and she knew how much the approval of who she was dating mattered to the group. she also hadn’t had a serious relationship in a while, and this was starting to dawn on her.

“I’m saying this only once, behave.” She spoke before she went down the hall to open up to Luna, who was holding a bottle of wine and a box of chocolate. Raven greeted her with a small kiss before leading her to the others. They all greeted her as they walked in.

“I got you this, and chocolates as an apology to Lexa forgetting she couldn’t drink any.” Luna chuckled as she placed them on the bench

“Thank you for them, you really didn’t need to.” Lexa greeted her kissing her cheek and offering her a drink from the fridge.

“How long have you been working at the pizza place for?” Octavia asked her as they were sitting down for dinner. Lincoln and Lexa had prepared lasagne and salads, taking on the role of chef not wanting to ruin the night with the others cooking.

“Since high school finished, it’s a weekend job. I actually go to the other college around here.” She explained to them.

“What do you study?” Clarke asked her.

“Marine biology.” She smiled at the group’s response. “Are you all studying?”

“I was but am taking a break for obvious reasons.” Lexa looked down at her belly and laughed before going on. “I was studying architecture, and Clarke’s doing an art degree.” She said placing a hand on her girlfriend’s lap, Clarke loved when Lexa answered questions for her.

“I am doing personal training, and seeing we’re speaking for our girlfriends O is doing social work.” Lincoln said shooting a look at Lexa causing her to blush before looking back to Luna who was smiling at their interaction.

“Is that how you met O, at college?” Luna asked him taking a sip of her wine.

“Yeah, we met at a party and then he stalked me to the library and every day he would sit a table closer to me until he was at mine and asked me.” They laughed at how timid he had been surrounding the younger girl.

“I was not stalking you, you just scared me at the start.” Lincoln admitted and planted a kiss on her temple.

“Lex this is really good.” Raven compliment, which resulted in a round of compliments.

“I would say Linc helped, but he mostly ate the cheese and left-over sauce.” This caused Lincoln to roll his eyes at the younger girl.

“I also helped with the salads.” He shot back to her.

“Are there any foods you can’t eat Lexa?” Luna asked her.

“Coffee, oh my god coffee.” Raven grumbled as it was still banned in the house.

“Eggs.” Octavia answered for her.

“Those are the main two, in the first trimester I couldn’t really keep anything down. It also didn’t help that they didn’t know I was pregnant straight away. So I would wake up and that one would be drinking coffee and eating eggs and I would just barf. It wasn’t fun.” She explained and they all shook their heads, they were so glad that stage was over.

“My mom told me that when she was pregnant with me she was the same with pancakes, and I hate them. So I wonder if it will be the same with yours.” She said and Lexa nodded, not having had thought about if they would have the same reaction once born.

“If I cant get coffee back once their born, I’m moving out.” Raven glared at Lexa who gave her a sweet smile before sticking out her tongue.

“I say we move this party outside.” Clarke said as she packed away the final plate. “We can start the fire out there." They all agreed with her and went to set up outside. Each couple sat on a sofa and huddled up by the fire once it started up.

“I can’t believe I haven’t seen you girls since high school.” Luna said once they had all settled in.

“God, high school me is not something I want to remember.” Raven said rubbing her forehead.

“I remember when you almost burnt down the whole school.” Octavia said not holding back the laugh that spread through all the girls.

“You didn’t?” Lincoln asked looking shocked.

“No, I didn’t, nothing burnt down.” She tried to defend herself, but it was no use.

“Babe we had to evacuate the school.” Luna said laughing. “We were in chemistry and little miss over here was told multiple times not to mix these two chemicals together alone, so you know what she did. Mixed them alone and boom a literal fire ball came from her bench and set off the fire system.” She explained fighting off the laughter. Lincoln couldn’t contain his own as he saw the sheepish expression on her face.

“You know what at least I didn’t get lost on a school camp.” Raven shot back and they all looked at Octavia, even Lincoln who hadn’t heard the story knew it had to be about her.

“Okay but to be fair, I was never lost. Those teachers just didn’t know where I was, I knew where they were.”

“O, they had to call the rescue teams.” Clarke said and Lincoln couldn’t help but face palm himself.

“Oops.” She said innocently. “I want to hear about a story from you in high school.” She said to him and they all waited as he thought.

“I dislocated my knee in class once.” He said and they could tell there was a story in the way he wasn’t looking any of them in the eye.

“In like sport or something?” Raven asked him.

“No.”

“In a fight?” Lexa asked him. Again, he shook his head. “How?” She asked and he let out a big sigh.

“There was a spider, and I jumped back and tripped over a chair and landed on my knee.”

“You screamed when you saw the spider didn’t you?” Raven asked and he hung his head giving them the answer. All five girls let out belly laughs at the story. They all knew that he was scared of spiders, but not enough to dislocate something.

“They had to call the EMT’s.” He said with regret and they couldn’t help another round of chuckles.


	28. twenty eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know ive been mia for a little. but my life has been kind of crazy. but my city has just been put back on lockdown, so i've finally found the time.   
> enjoy let me know what yall think

“Ready to be in hell for the next few hours.” Lexa said as they pulled up into the baby store. They had both learned very quickly that shopping for baby products was hell. They had been multiple times, planning on buying the big ticket items but only settled on the small things not knowing what to get or not being in the mood to look at strollers that all seemed to do the same thing. But today was the day they decided was the best time to go.

Lexa was currently twenty-three weeks along, and they had sixteen until the baby was here. Even though they had time Lexa wanted to get most things done by the third trimester where she would feel the full affects of being pregnant.

“Come on babe lets get over with.” Clarke said taking her hand and leading her into the store knowing how much Lexa didn’t want to do this. They were hit with the fresh cool air and Lexa instantly felt better. The summer weather had been getting to her.

“Hey ladies how are you today?” One of the workers greeted them. They both let out a sigh of relief when they weren’t bombarded with a super personality. She seemed more chill, and they were definitely glad for that.

“We’re good how are you.” Lexa said with a warm smile.

“Good thank you, my names Gaia, do you need any help today?” She asked.

“Lexa.” She reached out her hand to shake it. “And this is Clarke. We actually really have nothing and need to prepare for this baby.” Gaia laughed and nodded at them. She also appreciated how down to earth the girls weren’t and wanted her help and weren’t asking a million questions.

“Of course, I can help you with all that. How far along are you if you don’t mind me asking.” They spoke as she led them towards the back of the store.

“Not at all, I’m twenty-three weeks.” She smiled putting a hand on her noticeable belly.

“Now also excuse me for this question but are you two together, friends?” She asked awkwardly and Clarke almost laughed that their hands were intertwined. But she didn’t, she appreciated Gaia for asking them.

“We’re together.” Clarke answered.

“Lovely, now are you both happy to start with strollers?” She asked and they both nodded looking up to the wall of strollers, feeling already overwhelmed. “I could go through every different one here and explain the pros and cons, but I love to start with this one. It’s one of our best sellers and it just makes life so easy. So it’s kind of a three in one. To start with there’s a capsule here for when they baby’s a newborn and it can be seated up right or laying down. When they get bigger you can remove this part and it’s more of a stroller than pram for a toddler. And the best part is this capsule is actually part of a car seat. So it fits into both slots, it’s the best you don’t have to take the baby out of the car seat and into the pram.” Both girls were amazed by the contraption and were already sold on it.

“That just makes so much sense.” Clarke said looking over the pram and feeling the material.

“The girls sold, I think I am too.” Lexa laughed watching Clarke practise placing the capsule into the stroller.

“You have the right mentality there, can you tell that to my girlfriend.” Gaia said letting out a chuckle.

“Yeah babe I’m happy with this one.” Clarke confirmed and came back to Lexa.

“Great so that’s stroller and seat done, what else do you need?” She asked the couple.

“We need a bassinet or something for our room for the first few months, I was also interested in the bouncing seats.” She explained as they were again led through the stories.

“I nanny when I’m not here and I swear by those seats, or the rocker ones.” She said and showed the girls the one she uses, and they agreed on the self-rocking one.

“That one goes with the theme of the nursery and the living room.” Lexa couldn’t help but awe at her comment. “Sorry my dad’s an interior designer, guess its in me too.” She said and Clarke kissed her head with affection.

“Now the bassinets are all fairly similar, I suggest one that’s portable or can be easily taken apart if you ever sleep anywhere and need a crib.” Gaia explained turning around the choice.

“Babe didn’t you say wanting a few of those pregnancy pillows?” Clarke asked after they had pick up the small crib they wanted.

“Ah yes, I think every mother swears by them, they are great for nursing as well.” Gaia led them over and Lexa picked out a couple of the ones she liked. “Did you guys want any baby monitors?” Gaia asked them pointing over to the wall where they were kept.

“O said she’d get you one for the shower.” Clarke explained and Lexa nodded. “I really think that’s all we need right now, we have a few other things, and we have stuff on the registry, whatever we’re missing we can get after that.” Clarke said mentally checking off her own list.

“Now she, is a god send. I would be lost in all this without her.” Lexa said pointing around to the store. As Gaia looked on at the two of them in awe at the relationship they shared. In the hour she had known them she knew the love they shared was once in a lifetime.

“I’ll leave you two to look around while I get all your items, call out of you need anything.” Gaia left them walking around the store.

“Babe I can’t believe that in like three months we will have a human life to look after.” Lexa said as Clarke looked through the clothes.

“A tiny human life, look at this.” She said holding up a sock that wasn’t longer than her finger. They walked around the store for another twenty minutes pulling out a few wooden toys that would look cute in the room, clothes for them that looked way too tiny and a few swaddles for the first few months.

“Need anything else” Gaia asked as they walked to the registers.

“Most likely, but for now I think we don’t even have anymore car room to fit it in.” Clarke laughed at the statement, as the jeep was currently filed with small fixings they’d found for the house and they only had the boot space available.

“Now if you guys need any help installing any of this feel free to come back in and we can help you out with it all.” She told them as she helped them with taking the many items to the car.

“Thank you for all your help today.” They both thanked her and said goodbye before getting back in the car.

“Okay that wasn’t too bad.” Clarke said smiling at Lexa who agreed it was a lot less stressful than it could have been.

“She was so nice.” Lexa complimented her and hoped that anytime they had to go back she would be there to help them out.


	29. twenty nine

The internet wasn’t lying when it said that the third trimester was worse than the first. Lexa was exactly twenty-seven weeks pregnant to the day and she was dreading the next thirteen weeks. The second trimester was so good to her that she had forgotten the struggles of the first, but now she wanted the bliss back.

She woke up hot and sweaty, even in the bed alone and no blankets on she couldn’t help the heat that ran across her body. Her back was also hurting her, it was a dull pain that she knew would only grow once she got out of bed. But she couldn’t even do that, she could feel the sadness and loneliness in her bones, and it made her mad because she had no reason to be either of those things. But that didn’t change the feelings, she couldn’t even roll over to pick up her phone she heard ringing. Instead, she was laid on her side staring out the window and wishing she could turn around and stare at the wall so she couldn’t see how beautiful the day was outside and she was missing it.

“Lex?” She was pulled from her thoughts as she heard Ravens voice through the door. Lexa panicked, not in the mood to talk to anyone and explain her feelings, so she relaxed her body and closed her eyes faking being asleep as her bedroom door opened. “Yeah, she’s still asleep, I told you she’s fine.” She heard the older girl say into the phone as she went back outside and closed the door.

The interaction only caused Lexa to feel worse about everything. She’d basically lied to her best friend and girlfriend just so she didn’t have to acknowledge her own feelings. But she wasn’t in the mood to talk or even move, so she laid still in the same spot. That was until an hour later and she heard another knock on the door. She knew she couldn’t pretend to sleep again, not without worrying anyone. Lexa was never one who slept in or all day, even pregnant they would know something was up. So, she rolled over and didn’t even bother wiping away the tears from her cheeks.

“Oh babe, are you okay?” Raven asked rushing into the room, she had a bowl in her hand but quickly put it aside and joined Lexa on the bed. “What’s wrong?” She asked when she saw the sad look in her eyes and the lines of faded tears on her face.

“I don’t know.” Lexa told her truthfully as Raven opened up her arms. They had never had a very affectionate relationship, but they were used to being a shoulder to cry on when they needed it. so Lexa rolled over for the first time that morning and laid her head on Ravens chest who was now lying down by her side. Neither of them felt the need to say anything so they just laid with each other as Lexa cried silently, getting all the feeling out, as the other girl ran her hands down her back and the other through her hair.

It only lasted a few minutes before Lexa grew uncomfortable with her back and the bulge of her stomach. She was now noticeably pregnant and in maternity clothing, so laying on her stomach for more than a few moments was almost impossible.

“Do you want me to call Clarke?” Raven asked as her best friend laid on her back and wiped away the tears from her eyes.

“No, she’s at work she can probably use the break from me anyway.” She tried to play it off as a joke but Raven knew there was some truth to the statement.

“That girl would die if she was away from you too long. You’re like her oxygen.” Raven comforted her as she gave her a tissue to dry her tears. “Look I know that I have no idea how you’re feeling with all these extra hormones in your body, but I do know what depression feels like. We have both had our fair shares of it, and I know that you are in such a good spot in your life that you might feel you have no reason to be sad.” She looked over to Lexa who gave her a slight nod.

“But sadness doesn’t always need a reason, it can literally just be a chemical imbalance that fucks with your whole life. So, saying that and you not knowing why you’re feeling like you do, this could just be an episode or may be something else. So, I need you to pay attention to how you feel and take care of yourself because you are growing a life inside you. If it is something more, we can deal with that and seek help before the baby comes so it doesn’t become more once they’re here, okay?” There were no other words that Lexa could say than ‘okay’, but Raven was satisfied knowing that she would have listened to her. So, she gave her a bowl of granola knowing that she wouldn’t have gotten herself fed.

Lexa was always so grateful for Raven, they had such a special relationship. Even though all four girls had, had a rocky growing up and a parent that was absent, Raven and Lexa were the only ones who knew what it was like living without parents, or with parents who were never around and didn’t want them. So they leaned on each other a lot when they needed, because they understood and knew how they dealt with the pain of it. Where they would usually close up and not talk about it the other girl would force it out.

Also with Octavia and Clarke they were so empathetic with them and would let them cry and sort of wallow in their sadness. Which was good and healthy to feel the emotions and talk about them, while also offering the physical affection to help ease the suffering. Raven had a no nonsense way with Lexa, that always seemed to pull her out of her head when things got messy and deal with them head on. While still providing comfort to her, it was exactly what Lexa needed at the moment.

It was okay to be sad and feel the crazy emotions her hormones were producing, as long as it was temporary, and she could still function afterwards. But if it became more than that then Lexa would have to seek out the help, and she knew that she had people around her that would help her through whatever.

“Thank you, I needed that.” Lexa said about both the food and the talk, she leaned over and hugged the Latina.

“Are you feeling good enough for a movie day? I never realised how comfy this bed is, Clarke might have to find somewhere else to sleep.” Raven joked as she turned on the tv. But the movie was quickly forgotten as they fell asleep.

…

“Well is this not just adorable.” Lexa woke up hearing Clarke’s laugh, she opened her eyes to see her cuddled up with Raven, who was also just waking up. Clarke stood at the end of the bed taking a photo of the pair. “You’re lucky you’re taken Reyes.” Clarke said with a laugh.

“Don’t be shy, come join.” Raven said shuffling over as the blonde removed her shoes and crawled into the bed with her back to Lexa, who instantly wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and pushed her bump into her back.


End file.
